


not sweet enough

by tommymango



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, M/M, Minor Character Death, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27344476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommymango/pseuds/tommymango
Summary: “Wait, did you say Sakusa Kiyoomi? Like from the Sakusa family, Sakusa Kiyoomi? He’s your sugar daddy?”
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 164
Kudos: 770





	1. it smells like broke in here

**Author's Note:**

> sakusa screams rich vibes. stereotypical rich people tropes ahead.  
> rating subject to change. about 7 chapters to be updated every sunday. or at least that's the goal.
> 
> if you've followed anything i've ever done, you'll know i am shit at proofreading.

Atsumu chokes on his coffee at Osamu’s statement.

“You mean Suna has been paying for your half of the rent and all your new shit? What the hell, ‘Samu, I’ve been working my ass off!” He hisses, thinking back to the extra hours he’s had to put in at the bar just to pay rent for the past few months while not letting his grades tank to keep his scholarship all while playing college volleyball. “I fuckin’ knew somethin’ was shady when you suddenly started datin’ that hot, older dude.”

“He pays me for my company and gives me an allowance. Rin is a good guy, him being hot is just a bonus.” Osamu gags after taking a bite of his panini, “God, why do we come here? The food here sucks.”

“Don’t change the subject! Is how you met Sunarin a lie too?” Osamu told him they met at the restaurant he works at, but now Atsumu doesn’t believe it and starts to think that it’s been awhile since Osamu has worked a shift there.

Even though he hates the panini, he has no problem eating it and talking with his mouth full. “Yeah, we met on an app.”

“An app?” Atsumu waves down their waitress so they can leave, not wanting to talk about this in public anymore.

“Yeah, an app. It’s a bunch of rich dudes who want to pay to chill with you.” Osamu takes out a few thousand yen and pays for them both because now he feels somewhat guilty for hiding this from his brother.

They head out the door into a fairly empty street, making their way to their apartment, so Atsumu finds it appropriate to ask another question that is plaguing his mind. “Do they expect you to sleep with them?”

“No, not really. I mean some probably do, but Rin doesn’t. We do sometimes though, but I’ve never felt guilt tripped into doin’ it just because he’s payin’ me or buyin’ me shit.”

 _Well ain’t that nice_. He makes Osamu show him the app and debates creating a profile. It would be nice to work less hours so he can focus more on volleyball and the upcoming collegiate tournaments and studying so he’s not completely lost in his classes. Truth be told, he hadn’t been planning to go to college but when they both got full scholarships for a good university, Atsumu figured he could play in college, then go professional and have a back up plan in case that goes south. It’s not like it was his dream to study accounting, but it’s the most stable choice and he’s pretty good at math. Osamu isn’t going to play after this and wants to open a restaurant, taking management classes.

Working less hours would also mean less late nights at the bar. There are nights at the bar where he has to take a ten-minute break in the employee bathroom and just scream. The amount of drunk people hitting on him is great for tips, not so much for his sanity. And they never seen to catch on he won’t go home with them after he just saw them vomit on the middle of the dancefloor.

 _Might as well see what this is about_. Atsumu scrolls through his photos, choosing the most attractive ones. His main photo is him in his volleyball uniform, thinking it will attract someone with at least one of his general interests. And he makes sure to add at least one shirtless photo for the thirst traps. Writing his bio is challenge but he settles for “college volleyball player from Hyogo.” He publishes his profile and ignores his phone for the rest of the night, trying to get some studying in before his next shift.

\---

Atsumu expected some hits, because well, he’s hot as fuck. But he didn’t expect fifty plus messages in one day and over a hundred profile likes. Scrolling through the messages, he clicks profiles here and there. It’s mostly a lot of older men and women in their midlife crisis looking to show off a young, hot guy in public to flex on people they don’t know. No one is really jumping out at him and he turns off the app notifications for a while, settling onto the couch with Osamu to continue on with their Gundam marathon. This week is G Gundam, and he thinks he’s never seen a more racist, ridiculous show in his life after looking at Zebra Gundam. But boy does he love senseless punching and kicking buildings out of the fucking ground. During an ad break, he gets up to grab a couple of beers and hands one to his twin.

“’Samu, how did you find someone hot on this app? Everyone is like over 60 on here.”

“I dunno, took like a week. Yer gonna get a lot of old people before you get anyone hot,” Osamu opens up the can of the cheap beer they just bought. “I think some guy offered me $4,000 just to sleep with him before I saw Rin’s message.”

Atsumu mouth is gapping, “$4,000? What the fuck, did you do it?”

Osamu groans, “Obviously not or I would have moved out by now.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes. That night he prays someone semi attractive under the age of 40 thinks he’s interesting enough.

\---

A week later, he opens up the app to see over a thousand messages and tries his best to filter out his preferences by age. Just like Osamu said, there’s messages offering him money for sex from incel looking guys whose profile descriptions don’t help them either. It takes a while until he sees a message from an attractive male. Sakusa Kiyoomi, 35 and a doctor in Tokyo. At this point, he thinks Sakusa might be the best he’ll find and settles for viewing his message.

From Sakusa.

**Hello Atsumu. You’ve piqued my interest. I’d like to meet with you this weekend to discuss if this would be a right fit.**

Direct and kind of pretentious, but he’s the most attractive option.

From Atsumu

**Sure. Let me know the time and date and I will meet you there.**

**\---**

Of course the rich doctor would choose an upscale restaurant in the nicest part of Tokyo and Atsumu makes sure he’s prompt for their meeting, because despite their brief conversation, Sakusa doesn’t seem like the type who would appreciate tardiness. The hostess is dressed nicer than he is and shows him to the table where he can already see Sakusa sitting, legs cross with a small scowl on his face. His profile pictures don’t do him justice, because he’s breathtaking in person. Long legs, slender with silky hair that Atsumu has the urge to run his hands through.

“Hello, I’m Miya At-“ He’s interrupted before he can even formally introduce himself.

“Atsumu, yes I know. Take a seat.” Atsumu sits down, trying not to glare at the attractive bastard in front of him. “Order what you want. I will pay,” Sakusa says as the hostess hands him a menu.

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Atsumu stares at the menu prices. The appetizers cost more than his jeans. The entrees cost more than his entire outfit, so he chooses a midrange item (if he can even categorize it as that) of salmon with a side of roasted asparagus. He drums his fingers on his legs as the waiter finishes taking their orders, feeling awkward.

The waiter leaves and Sakusa finally speaks up, “Alright, Atsumu, these are my terms. I’ll pay for your living expenses and give you a monthly allowance of $3,000. All I ask in exchange is that you go to public events with me.”

Atsumu is taken a back, it’s a simple deal he was not expecting. “Wait, is that all? You don’t want me to come over on weekends or take me out on the town to prove yer youth?”

“No?” Sakusa sighs, “Look, I just need someone to come out with me for these kinds of things so my family will stop harassing me and setting me up on blind dates.”

Atsumu can’t argue with that. He’d probably do the same thing if he had the money, or if his parents actually cared if he ever got married. But Atsumu has to add in his own terms too.

Atsumu flashes his trademark smile, “Alright, Sakusa. I’ll agree to these terms, but once I graduate, I’m out. If you do anything to me, I’m out.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. I’m not a fan of being touched, much less touching others.” Sakusa wipes the edge of his wine glass with a handkerchief before pouring himself a deep red wine. “I have my sister’s art gala next Saturday that I want you to attend with me. I will request your account information the day before to transfer you the money once we’re done. If you do well, we will continue with this arrangement. If you don’t, at least you’ll make $3,000.”

$3,000 to attend some boujee art gala? Hell yeah. Atsumu tries not to sound too enthusiastic when he says yes.

The food finally comes out and they eat in silence. It seems like Sakusa is examining every bit of steak he cuts to make sure it’s not undercooked. Maybe this is why someone as attractive as him is still single. Atsumu finishes his fish and taking one last sip of wine before checking his phone to text Osamu that he’s alright and wasn’t kidnapped. He passes his contact information to Sakusa and waits for him to finish eating.

Sakusa doesn’t let him stay long though. “You can go. I will contact you with a reminder.”

Atsumu shoots him a thumbs up and waves goodbye. This is going to be easier than he thought.

\----

Apparently, it isn’t going to be as easy as he thought. Suna asked for Osamu to watch his apartment and to make sure his dog doesn’t starve while he goes out of town on a business trip, so naturally Atsumu tags along. Suna doesn’t mind, or at least he thinks he doesn’t since Suna never shows any emotions. He’s on Suna’s bed, explaining the situation while Osamu goes through the luggage and makes sure Suna has packed enough underwear this time. Suna’s ears perk up when Atsumu mentions Sakusa’s name.

Suna drops his shirt in his suitcase, annoying Osamu who folds it right away. “Wait, did you say Sakusa Kiyoomi? Like from the Sakusa family, Sakusa Kiyoomi? He’s your sugar daddy?”

Atsumu sits up straight, a little freaked out, “I mean, I wouldn’t call him a sugar daddy, but yeah, I guess. Why? Is his family a part of the yakuza? Am I gonna get murdered?”

“Have you never been to a hospital? Like ever? His family practically owns every major private hospital in the country. Not only that, but his grandfather practically helped build Japan’s medical industry from the ground up. His mom’s a respected poet whose family is old money rich, like “Crazy Rich Asians” would be based on them. His sister does art for fun. For. Fun.” Suna pulls out a high school yearbook from the top of his closet. “We went to the same prep school. This dude went to school in a bullet proof Rolls Royce everyday because his brother got kidnapped and held for ransom when he was like five.”

The twins stare at his prep school photo, and Atsumu notes that his hair has always been pretty. Suna abruptly shuts it before they can turn the page to find him and takes it to shove it back inside his walk-in closet that is bigger than Atsumu’s bedroom. “Who knows maybe they’ll like me for my sparkling personality,” they both make a face at that statement. “Oh fuck off, I won’t be myself then.”

“You literally should be anything other than yourself,” Suna deadpans and turns to Osamu. “Osamu, baby, take my credit card and buy something for your brother to wear that you would want to keep after. And get something for yourself too. I can guarantee he’s going to need a presentable outfit for that gala. There’s going to be a lot of people looking at you, Atsumu. You can’t go in looking like what you wore to the awards ceremony when you got best college setter.”

“IF IT TAKES EFFORT TO GET INTO, IT’S FANCY. TIGHT JEANS TAKE EFFORT!” He yells back. But he can’t argue. There’s no way anything he has in his closet will meet the dress code Suna started to explain to him. Neither of them are really flashy people, well except on the court, but they stick to the basics for everything else. Osamu has been using the money Suna gives him on cooking classes and kitchen gadgets rather than expensive clothes. So, on his way to the airport, Suna drops them off in Ginza and Atsumu pretends to vomit when his brother kisses the older man goodbye but says thank you for “sponsoring” their shopping trip.

Next thing he knows, he’s getting fitted for a semi formal suit and shoes that are well over $2,000 which he kind of wants to keep but knows he shouldn’t because Suna is technically buying this for Osamu. They finish paying and take a tour of the rest of Ginza, looking for a place to eat before they have to go back settling on a Parisian café because Osamu wants a crepe.

That night, he’s trying not to psyche himself out while Suna’s dog sleeps at his feet on top of the soft silk comforter. _Man, why couldn’t I have been born as the dog of rich person._ He grabs his phone and starts to google as much as he can about Sakusa Kiyoomi and his family.

\---

Right at 7:00PM sharp, Sakusa texts him that he’s outside his apartment. He’s not hard to find because he’s the one in the black Mercedes-Benz that stands out compared to all the old beaters parked around him. It’s a little chilly outside that he probably should have worn the matching coat to his outfit but didn’t want to seem too overdressed for an art gala. Judging by all the artwork he saw by Sakusa’s sister in his late-night googling, it’s not worth getting super fancy for. He gets into the car, saying hi to Sakusa, who is equally dressed, but in Dior. His car is clean and still smells brand new, and maybe it is, Atsumu wouldn’t know.

It’s a silent drive until Sakusa starts talking as he pulls on to the freeway, “If anyone asks, we met at one of your volleyball games after I went to go greet the team.”

Confused, Atsumu wants to know his logic, “Wouldn’t it make more sense if we met in a hospital or at yer office?”

“I’m a neurosurgeon. I don’t think you would be seeing me under those circumstances,” the GPS from his car starts to talk, and Sakusa talks over it, “Plus, I’m a private sponsor for your volleyball team.”

There’s a twist he didn’t see coming. “Wait really?”

“Yes, really. Your school is my alma mater and I played for a while before I quit to dedicate myself to my studies. I paid for that uniform you were wearing in your profile picture.” Woah, there’s something else he didn’t expect, “I’ve seen you and your brother play. That’s why I messaged you. It would be more believable that I’d be dating you.”

Atsumu doesn’t know if he should feel flattered or creeped out so he asks, “Wait, have you been stalking me then?”

“What? No, of course not. But you are a good player and I do watch the games so I’m obviously going to be checking out the roster to make sure my money is being used to scout valuable players.”

So, he’s a volleyball fan then, nothing strange about that. Now Atsumu is flattered. Sakusa choosing him was a smart choice after all. “Alright anything else I should know?”

“I asked you out and we’ve been privately seeing each other for a month.” The car pulls into a large parking garage. “If we’re going to hold hands, please make sure you sanitize them.” Nodding, Atsumu checks his hair one more time and texts his friends that he’s still safe. _Here goes nothing_.

\---

The space has a minimalist feeling to it, with all the paintings being black and white. He doesn’t really see the big deal in them, because half of them look like his sister just threw paint onto a canvas and called it day. There’s a jazz band in the corner while a contemporary dancer is in front of them in a nude body suit, contorting her body into ways Atsumu didn’t think were humanly possible. It doesn’t take long for him to spot what looks like Sakusa’s family. When Sakusa mentioned that his parents were older, he didn’t think they were in their mid-seventies, but then again, his oldest brother is 54 and his sister is pushing 50 now. And with his extensive googling, he found out they both have kids that are older than him, which he thinks he sees one of them next to Sakusa’s brother. She’s young and must take after her mother, because she looks nothing like his brother.

They slowly make their way over to his family, who are all gathered together at a hyper realistic photo of a black and white boob. His mother smiles at Sakusa and looks Atsumu up and down. “Kiyoomi, my love, how I’ve missed you! You didn’t show up to your brother’s wedding!”

Sakusa scoffs, “Once you’ve been to two of them, the excitement dies out.” It’s good to know Sakusa is an asshole to his whole family, and not just him. “Honey, these are my parents, Shigeru and Hanako. That is my sister, Keiko, her husband, Naoki. And over there you’ll see my brother, Kyoji and his wife, Ai.” And oh, that’s not his daughter, Atsumu realizes.

His brother and his wife, who looks younger than Atsumu, smile. “Well, Kiyoomi, won’t you introduce us to your date here? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you actually brought someone with you anywhere. We all thought you were going to die alone.”

Ouch, so is his whole family just full of assholes?

He bows a full 90 degrees and gives them a warm smile, “I am Miya Atsumu.”

Sakusa’s father looks stern. While all the siblings take after their mother with black hair and signature double moles on different parts of their face, they all have their father’s serious demeanor. Shigeru reaches out to shake his hand, “Miya, what is it that you do? You seem young. Then again, it seems both my sons go for younger partners these days.” Atsumu doesn’t miss the side eye the man throws to his oldest son.

“Ah, I’m a volleyball player for Tokyo University and I’m studying accounting. So you are right to assume I am young,” he tries to speak as formally as he can without letting his accent out, “But what can I say, I fell for Omi-kun so fast after he came in to greet us after a tough match.”

His mother laughs, “Omi-kun? What a cute nickname! I haven’t heard anyone call him that since he was in grade school!” Atsumu pretends that Sakusa isn’t glaring at him for the nickname.

Pursing her lips, Keiko continues to stare at him, “Atsumu, you must have the patience of a saint to put up with our Kiyoomi.” So far, he thinks he likes his sister the most, until he hears the next words that come out of her mouth. “Then again, I’m sure anyone would put up with him for a chance to be wealthy.” Keiko side eyes her brother’s wife, who stays with the same smile she’s been wearing all night. Ai is probably used to this by now.

Okay, cool. So, his whole family fucking sucks, minus his mom and that’s because she hasn’t offended anyone yet. He has to take a minute to breathe in deep before responding, “Actually, I wasn’t aware who your family was until about a week ago. Kiyoomi made it very clear that I didn’t have to come, but I insisted! I thought it was essential to meet the most important people in Omi-kun’s life.”

His sister doesn’t seem to buy it, but it shuts her up. “Well, aren’t you sweet,” his mother smiles. And Atsumu officially decides his mom is his favorite.

“Not as sweet as you.” If Atsumu knows anything about mothers, it’s how to butter them up. So, he puts his skills as a professional bullshitter and his Google knowledge to work to do just that. “Actually, I am a fan of your poetry, ma’am. I had no idea you were Omi-kun’s mother! I’ve been reading your work since I was a child back in Hyogo. I must say, your lastest work caught my heart when you described the beauty of the Kansai region.”

She’s visibly blushing now, and he knows he’s at least won one person’s heart tonight. “My Kiyoomi, what a lovely young man you’ve introduced us to! I do hope you’ll bring him to your father’s birthday party next week! I can surely contact the party planner to accommodate for one more person!”

Sakusa responds before Atsumu can say anything. “I’ll keep that in mind, mother. But Atsumu has an exam to study for and is preparing for a tournament, so I don’t think he’ll be able to make it. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to get a drink and look at all these paintings Keiko is pawning off as ‘art.’”

Damn, that’s fucking harsh, but he likes that Sakusa is defending him in his own way. Atsumu bows and waves, which only his mother returns. Once they’re far enough away, Atsumu takes a sip of champaign and asks, “So is your family always this pleasant?”

“Always. And, oh look, here comes another annoying family member.” Sakusa motions over to a friendly looking man who looks oddly like Sakusa’s dad, but nicer.

He stops in front of them and greets him, “Jeez, Kiyoomi, couldn’t go five minutes without insulting your siblings, could you? It’s all my mom is talking about now.” He gives a light bow to Atsumu, “So you’re the famous Atsumu? You’re the talk of the night! I’m Komori Motoya. Kiyoomi’s favorite cousin!”

“Debatable.” Sakusa explains that his dad and Komori’s mom are siblings. Apparently, the maternal genes are strong in this family. But not the attitudes, because while Sakusa is all bite and no smiles, Komori is the equivalent of a puppy. They walk through the art together while Komori sharing stories of how they used to play volleyball together and that they could have gone pro.

“Anyway, family obligations are lame, so we didn’t end up getting the chance. So Kiyoomi, are you gonna go to your dad’s party this year?”

Shrugging, Kiyoomi downs the last drops of his drink, “Probably not.”

“C’mon! I’m sure Atsumu here can actually make it bearable for you!” Bless Komori’s heart because it seems like he genuinely wants his cousin there.

“I’ll think about it.” Sakusa looks at his watch. “It’s time to go. Atsumu, has early practice tomorrow, right honey?”

What a blatant lie, “Yeah, I do.”

Komori isn’t buying it. “You guys don’t practice tomorrow. I swear it’s like you forget I’m a chairman for the team, Kiyoomi! But I get it, you lovebirds don’t want to be here anymore and I don’t blame you. This isn’t Keiko’s best work.”

“What even is her best work?” Sakusa grumbles back and shoos Komori away.

They slip out through the backdoor unnoticed and head down to the parking garage. They’ve survived a full hour at the gala. Watching Sakusa bury his face in his hands for a moment, Atsumu brings a hand to his clothed arm. “Hey, are you okay?”

Sakusa peers at his hand on him and Atsumu takes it back to his side. “Sorry. Just seeing them is exhausting. I hope you can get used to it if you want to continue doing this. You handled yourself well and did accurate research.” He takes his phone out of his pocket. “Thank you for going above and beyond when you didn’t need to.”

The light praise makes him blush as he watches Kiyoomi move his fingers across his phone and then feels his own phone vibrate against his thigh. Taking it out, he opens up his bank app notification and sees the direct deposit that just hit.

If he needed anymore reason to keep doing this, making $3,000 for his time surely was a part of it. “I don’t mind keeping this up. Do you want me to go with ya to yer dad's party?”

Kiyoomi starts up the car, “I’ll let you know.” The rest of the drive is silent as Atsumu watches the city lights listening to the soft rock playing on Sakusa’s radio. Soon, they’re parked in front of his apartment. Before Atsumu can open the door, Sakusa speaks up, “Suna told me he bought your outfit. Well, he bought your brother’s outfit, anyway. Don’t feel like you need to buy anything fancy for my family, nothing will ever impress them. But if you need clothes to feel comfortable around them, I’ll take you shopping before Saturday.”

It takes a minute for him to realize what he just said. “Oh, so you want to go to yer parents’ house then?”

“I don’t think I can get out of it this time around.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know when I’m free then.” Opening the door, he steps out into the cold air. He makes his way upstairs, strips himself of his clothes, pulling some sweats and collapses onto his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [click here to find me on the twitters](https://twitter.com/tommymangos/)


	2. struggling student needs new prada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, you’re the dude Kiyoomi is paying to piss off his family? Get in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rating change to be safe, but poor proofreading. 
> 
> i found out Iizuna has an older sister but i didn't want to change anything, not a big deal.  
> but sakusa being listed as an only child? fake news.  
> suna having a younger sister? oh hell yes. 
> 
> sakusa's apartment was inspired by my boyfriend's rich ass uncle who i can only dream of being like.

“So his whole family sucks? I don’t see an issue considerin’ you fuckin’ suck too,” Osamu says leaning on the doorframe of their shared bathroom while Atsumu is fixing his hair. “It sounds like you’re just dealin’ with a bunch of rich people versions of you.”

“Eat a dick, ‘Samu. These people actually suck. They don’t just make me feel like shit around them, they make me feel like I’m the dump you take after you just finished takin’ a shower.” Atsumu finishes primping until he’s satisfied with his hair. If there’s one thing he does care about, it’s maintaining his hair after all the bleach he’s put in it.

Suna bought Osamu tickets for the Alders vs Falcons game, but couldn’t make it since he got called in for an emergency meeting in Hong Kong right after he just got back from Singapore. Osamu, being the loving brother that he is, invited him instead after Akagi and Gin said they couldn’t go because they have a practical tomorrow for physiology.

The gym is packed with people decked out in volleyball merch for both teams and the smell of various food stalls has Osamu wandering around to pick something to eat while Atsumu finds their seats. Trust Suna to pick a spot where they can see every movement the players are making and Atsumu spots Tobio warming up. He definitely has gained more muscle over the years, but his hair needs work, despite his sister being a professional hairstylist. Osamu comes back with a handful of different foods that are sure to give him a stomachache later tonight. Atsumu tries to take one of his meat skewers and gets his hand slapped.

“Get yer own!” Osamu barks.

“Don’t be an asshole. You know yer gonna blow up one of Sunarin’s five toilets with all this garbage,” he fights back, and Osamu settles for giving him a meat bun instead.

The game isn’t all too exciting with the Adler’s winning three matches quickly, ending it all together. After the game, they go down to say hi to their old opponent. Atsumu pulls Tobio into a hug, congratulating him on the win.

“So Tobio, are you doin’ anything after?” Atsumu asks, while Osamu makes a face at him, knowing he’s not going home tonight.

\---

The feeling of Tobio riding him is so sweet. He’s missed this, because just like volleyball, Tobio’s also a natural at sex. They only get together a few times a year when they both happen to be in the same city, but goddamn, each time is better than the last. Atsumu is pretty sure Tobio’s only been with one other person and that guy is in Brazil, so he definitely needs this. It’s a good arrangement. No strings attached and Tobio doesn’t expect anything of him.

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum,” he moans loudly with no shame because Osamu is back at Suna’s place caring for his spoiled Pomeranian. Tobio’s hips start to lose rhythm and he can tell he’s close. Atsumu starts push his hips up, thrusting hard into him, soaking in Tobio’s cries as cums all over his stomach. Tobio tightens up around him and he’s spilling into the condom moments later. Tobio gets off of him, and plops down on his back while Atsumu gets up to toss the soiled condom and get a wet towel to clean him off.

They have maintained a solid routine for this over the past couple of years. They fuck, Tobio stays the night, Atsumu will give him leftover food that Osamu made the day before which they eat while watching a recording of Tobio’s game and commenting on any errors he’s made during said game. Tobio will leave after it’s over and they don’t talk until the next hookup. Simple. But this morning is a little different. Instead of watching the game, Atsumu is getting ready to meet up with Sakusa to go shopping because Atsumu doesn’t have morning classes today and practice isn’t until later that evening.

“How did you not know who Sakusa Kiyoomi was? Even I know who he is, and I can barely remember my own address,” Tobio says from the couch, cup of milk in hand.

“Ya know yer lucky yer good at volleyball, Tobio. How do you know him?” He asks from his room, looking for an outfit he can easily slip on and off while trying on clothes.

It takes a minute for Tobio to respond so he can make sure he’s giving Atsumu accurate information. “He was dating one of the players when I first joined the team. Do you remember the old team captain, Ushijima Wakatoshi? It was him. Sakusa would always come to our games and would wait outside the locker room for him. I think they broke up a year ago after Ushijima transferred to Poland.”

It’s surprising that Sakusa is capable of love, but Atsumu realizes that he’s human too and not an unfeeling robot, but Ushijima Wakatoshi? From what he’s heard, he’s an actual robot and a himbo. He’s surprised Sakusa would even like him or even try to make it work for a year with a guy in Europe. Maybe he has a fetish for volleyball players? He looks at the time on his digital clock and realizes Sakusa will be here any minute to pick him up. “Shit, Tobio, I gotta go. Did ya call yer uber?”

Tobio stands up and checks his phone, “Yeah it’s a minute away.” Atsumu grabs his wallet and keys and shoves them in his joggers motioning for Tobio to follow him. Once they’re outside the apartment, Atsumu gives him a small peck on the lips and opens up the car door. “Let me know if ya wanna come over again tonight. I should be home by 8 and Osamu is still gonna be out.”

Tobio nods. “I’ll text you.” Atsumu shuts the door and waves as the uber drives away, not noticing the pristine white Audi that’s pulling up in front of him. A loud honk makes him jump and he sees the window roll down with an indifferent Sakusa on the driver’s side.

“Get in. I have a patient at 2PM and want to get this over with.” Atsumu makes a face and gets into the car, putting on his seatbelt, a little embarrassed and trying to figure out how much he just saw. “I saw everything.”

Ah, fuck.

“I don’t care if you’re with anyone else, just don’t get caught by anyone I might know. Last thing I need is a fake cheating scandal to make its way to my family. I saw how the real ones went for my brother, and there’s a reason why he’s been divorced twice already.” It’s not the reaction he was expecting, but it’s better than any jealousy. Sakusa is speeding down the highway, maneuvering through cars with care and takes the next exit. “I didn’t know you knew Kageyama. He’s a fantastic setter.”

“Psh, now he is.” Atsumu continues, “I took his virginity back at a youth camp in high school and we see each other every now and again. It’s not like I keep up with him outside of watching his games.”

Sakusa rolls his eyes at him. “I didn’t ask for any of the unnecessary information.”

“Hey man, I’m just making conversation. So anyway, Ushijima huh? You have a thing for volleyball players dontcha?” Atsumu grins. Sakusa breaks hard at the next red light, causing Atsumu almost fly forward as his seatbelt locks. “What the hell! I could have died!”

“But did you? I see Kageyama told you about him. We grew apart and that was it.” Atsumu decides to shut up for his safety the rest of the ride until they’re parked inside a garage filled with foreign sports cars.

Sakusa puts on a mask before getting out of the car, handing him one, which he rejects causing Sakusa to “tsk” at him. They walk out of the space and he realizes he’s in Ginza, again, but in a luxury shopping mall instead of a standalone store like he went to with Osamu. He lets Sakusa lead the way to a pristine store with five people in it, telling Atsumu to pick out anything he likes. Atsumu begins to browse and sees a nice blue sweater and takes it off the rack, looking at the price. His eyes practically pop out of his head because it’s twice as much as his rent.

Sakusa notices this and says, “Don’t worry about the price. Just get what you want.”

Atsumu puts the sweater back and looks at a pair of ugly, neon slacks that are $1,200 and turns to Sakusa. “I don’t think I can do this, Sakusa. I really don’t know what I even need. If you haven’t noticed, I wear sweats to class and having been using athleticwear as fashion before it was cool.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Sakusa calls over one of the sales associates who rushes over, “Take his measurements and pick out five outfits for every occasion possible, with enough interchangeable basics. Have them sent to my apartment that you have on file and charge it to my account.” Sakusa takes the sweater Atsumu was looking at and tells the girl to add it as well. Is this how Sakusa always buys his clothes?

The girl bows and motions for Atsumu to come toward her so she can get his sizes and inseams, asking him what kind of colors he prefers. Atsumu doesn’t even want to know how much all of these clothes are going to cost and thanks the lord Sakusa has taken care of it. The sales associate comes back with a small bag with his sweater neatly folded inside. He bows and thanks her. That was easier than he expected. They walk out the store towards another one. _Omi-kun can’t possibly think I need more clothes_?

Instead they head into a bookstore and Sakusa heads straight to the counter, talking with the clerk who heads to the backroom. It takes a few minutes, but he comes back with an old looking book. He hands over his credit card and Atsumu gags at the price that rings up on the register screen. What kind of book is worth $5,000?

“What’s so special about that book, Omi-kun?” he asks as they head in the direction of the parking garage.

“Don’t call me that. It’s a first edition Charles Dickens novel. My father collects rare books.”

Atsumu has never been one for reading, but he knows enough classical literature from high school that he can get by in a basic conversation. He makes a mental note to google some books and read over their SparkNotes later. “Oh, well I’m sure he’ll love it. Do I have to get him something too?” _Please say no, I’m poor and want to save my money_.

“No. You barely know him. If anything, he’ll think it’s weird. Kyoji’s second wife did that and they would not let it go for years.” Sakusa sanitizes his hands once they get back in the car. It’s another awkwardly silent drive while Atsumu is playing on his phone. Before he can rush back to his apartment, Sakusa tells him one more thing. “I’ll pick you up before the party so you can get dressed.”

He shoots some finger guns at him. “You got it, Omi-kun. Thank you for today.”

“Don’t call me that.” And Sakusa speeds off.

Inside his room, he takes the neatly folded sweater and puts in a drawer. Tobio lets him know he’ll be free by 8PM so he decides to clean up a bit before he heads to class and practice before giving him the okay to come over after 8:30.

\---

Osamu makes him go to Suna’s penthouse on Friday because apparently Suna is feeling charitable and wants to prepare him for a Sakusa family party. What he didn’t expect was a full on 72 slide PowerPoint on it, with transitions. _Impressive_. “When did you have time to do all this, Suna?”

Suna points to his twin, “Osamu did it.”

Osamu shrugs, “He offered to buy me some curry from that new place downtown.”

Suna changes the title screen to a photo of himself, shirtless by the pool looking bored, which makes it clear that Osamu did indeed make this PowerPoint. “Alright, I’ll start off with myself. Knowing me isn’t a big deal for these things. The only reason I go is because my mom will get mad if I don’t because I’m the oldest son and blah blah blah. Anyway, my grandpa golfs with his dad and that’s the extent of my relationship with the Sakusa family besides a text here and there for light business purposes, nothing major. But if this was an Ojiro party? Boy, would you be in the clear.”

Atsumu groans, already tired of this presentation. “So, knowing you ain’t gonna get me any cool points with the Sakusa clan? What else is new?”

“Shut up, I’m awesome. If you want his family to get off your case, you’re going to want to stay away from or impress these key people. High society runs on the opinions of others to influence how people are going to treat you. The ones you want to stay away from are the Kita family.” The slide changes to a smiling elderly woman in a sweater that says “Go Shinsuke!” on it. “Yumie, the head of the family, basically owns every rice production company in the country and her grandson, Shinsuke is set to take over soon.”

He changes the slide to a picture of Shinsuke, who looks like he could make Atsumu cry without saying anything. “He’s smart and intimidating, but in a sexy way.” He flips to another slide of Yumie and Hanako and Atsumu thinks the confetti transition was a nice little touch on Osamu’s part. “Yumie and Sakusa’s mom are best friends. The Kitas are a nice family from Hyogo and if this were any other situation, you’d probably like them. However, their opinions on people are highly respected. One-time, when Shinsuke was 8, he said someone smelled funny and they weren’t invited to a party for an entire year.”

Atsumu is genuinely confused. “Wouldn’t I want to impress them then?”

“No because they can smell bullshit from a mile away. Unless you’re having a genuine conversation, they will see right through you and expose you. Listen to me, stay away from the Kitas, okay?”

“Yeesh, I got it. Who is next?”

“Make sure you say present yourself to anyone with the last name Shimizu, Sawamura and Sugawara. They all hold major investments with the Sakusa family and have been working with them since the 80s. Also, Shimizu Kiyoko, Sawamura Daichi and Sugawara Koshi are all hot as fuck. But that’s not important.” He flips through pictures of said individuals and agrees, they’re all hot. “Yachi Madoka and her daughter Hitoka might be there. They do all the Sakusa business designs. Hitoka is cute, but startles easily, so don’t approach her alone.”

He listens to Suna ramble on about everyone who is going to be at this party, trying not to doze off. How Osamu puts up with this monotone, uninterested voice of his, he’ll never understand. He feels a jab at his ribs and glares at his brother. Not wanting to interrupt Suna, he practically hisses, “Pay attention, asshole. I worked hard on this presentation.”

Atsumu punches his brother’s arm. “Anyone can google pictures, ‘Samu. Wait, why aren’t you going to this shit?”

“I’ve told ya before, Rin doesn’t make me do anything I don’t like. I went to one and it was lame. The food portions were too small, and people kept looking at me.”

“Maybe it’s because ya look constipated all the time.” And suddenly Atsumu is being tackled onto the floor, wrestling his brother.

Suna clears his throat and they both look up at him, seeing that he has his phone camera pointed in their direction. They get up and act like nothing happened. “Hey, listen up this last one is important. If you’re going to impress at least one person, make sure they’re from the Iizunas. That’s Naoki’s family. His brother, Tsukasa, is also extremely hot, but that’s beside the point.”

Atsumu interrupts him again, “Does it ever bother you that Suna is pointing out people and saying they’re hot when yer right here?”

“No because I’m not a jealous person and we’ve had open discussions on which one of them we would possibly invite to a threesome if the occasion were to arise,” Osamu says in a matter of fact tone.

Atsumu practically barfs at the thought of his brother having sex. “Gross, I don’t wanna know.”

A remote narrowly misses his head and he turns back to Suna who seems pissed, but then again, he can’t tell since his face always looks like that. “Pay attention, brat. The Iizuna’s own one of the leading medical technology companies in Asia. It’s widely believed that Keiko married Naoki so their families could merge together as a power move against the Haiba family after they pulled out of a huge deal in the mid-90s. Which, honestly, was probably for the better, because the Haibas? Super weird. Anyway, Naoki’s dad is good friends with Shigeru and naturally, Tsukasa and Kiyoomi are best friends, even if it doesn’t look like it. And as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Motoya too.”

Atsumu remembers his pleasant interaction with Komori and can’t imagine him being best friends with Sakusa which makes him wonder what the hell Tsukasa is like.

\---

He doesn’t have to wonder long about Tsukasa because he’s the one picking him up when Saturday rolls around. It comes as a surprise because Sakusa just texted him five minutes ago to be outside. He didn’t think Sakusa would ever own a sportscar, much less a red GT-R until he sees that it isn’t him driving it, but someone equally as handsome. “So, you’re the dude Kiyoomi is paying to piss off his family? Get in.”

“Sakusa is paying me to piss off his family? Pretty sure he can manage that by himself. Anyway, why are you gettin’ me? Is Sakusa sick of drivin’ me around already?” A normal person would probably be a little more apprehensive to get in a car with a stranger, but Atsumu is Atsumu and would rather die in a GT-R by a mass murderer than in an old Toyota and jumps in immediately.

“Nah, he had an emergency case at work with a little five-year-old.” _Oh._ And Tsukasa must see the shock in his face when he starts thinking about Sakusa’s profession. “The kid had an aneurysm. Don’t worry, he’s the best surgeon this side of Japan. He’s already been done with surgery for a couple hours. He said he just wanted to stay a little longer to see how the kid is doing.”

Atsumu always assumed Sakusa was like those doctors who just does their job or will tell you that are your problems are because of your poor life choices, but he’s glad it’s the opposite. “I didn’t think he would have stayed longer than he needed too.”

Tsukasa laughs, “Yeah, he’s not a complete asshole. I know, what a shock.”

Atsumu changes the subject, feeling bad about misjudging Sakusa. “Uh, so you know about our deal?”

“I gave him the idea, so his sister would stop bugging me, I’m surprised he took it seriously. You’re causing quite the ruckus with his family and you haven’t even done anything. But don’t worry, I got your back and have been saying good things about you when they shit talk.” Atsumu feels a wave pressure come off of him that he doesn’t have to impress this man and agrees, because it is true he was acting like he wasn’t anything but pleasant the night he met his family.

They arrive to a large-scale apartment complex and go up the elevator to a suite at the top of the building. The large glass windows give him a breathtaking view of the city. It’s lightly furnished and barely looks like anyone actually lives here. Tsukasa leads the way to the fridge and takes out a bottle of water, offering him one. “You can explore a bit if you want before you start getting ready. This is his nap apartment.”

He takes the water bottle, which feels like it’s colder than anything he’s ever put in his apartment’s freezer and repeats what Tsukasa just said, dumbfounded. “Nap apartment?”

Tsukasa leads the way into a living room, complete with a long, black couch and large television. He plops on to the couch and relaxes. “It’s close to the hospital so he bought it so he could take a nap between surgeries. Mr. High Standards doesn’t think the beds at the hospital are comfortable and they don’t change the sheets enough between doctors for his liking.” Of course, Sakusa would have a place just to sleep. “Anyway, when you’re done looking around, Kiyoomi said your stuff is in the room at the end of the hallway to the right and you can shower in that bathroom.”

For a such a big place, he’s kind of surprised there’s only three bedrooms, but that being said each huge bedroom has its own bathroom and walk in closet. There’s two guest rooms and a master bedroom room, the latter being the largest and obviously where Sakusa must sleep when he’s here. As much as he’s dying to go through his stuff, he decides it’s probably not the best idea and someone like him wouldn’t leave anything embarrassing in a “nap apartment.” He finds the room he needs, but minus the bed, some basic furniture, and a television, it’s fairly empty. He wonder if he also uses this as a guest house at all for anyone who visits him, if he even gets visitors. 

He steps into the closet to see it filled with clothing, all labeled with his name with the price tags cut off and he wonders if Sakusa had the sales associate do that or if he took the time to do it himself. Atsumu picks out a blue Tom Ford suit and lays it on the king-sized bed. The connected bathroom is spotless, with a large shower and wow, Atsumu never experienced water pressure like this and thinks he should ask Sakusa if he can always bathe here.

When he comes out, he can hear voices outside the room, fading into another room. He’s here. Atsumu takes his time getting ready though, because someone like Sakusa probably takes forever just to make sure he’s clean. Once he’s done, he checks himself out in the full-length mirror and looks at his ass in the expensive suit. _Goddamn I am a catch_.

He comes out and makes his way to the living room to see Sakusa already dressed in a maroon suit, staring at his phone. Tsukasa is nowhere to be found. “Oh, you’re finally done.”

“Sorry, I thought you would have taken longer to get ready.” Strike two on his _I already know what kind of guy Sakusa Kiyoomi is_ list. Looking at him, it looks like he blow dried his hair and said, “good enough.”

“Let’s get going, I want to get this over with.” Standing up, he grabs a giftbag from the coffee table and has Atsumu follow him out to the underground garage. He can see his two cars parked together but sees a third one that lights up when Sakusa presses a button. It's a 911 Carrera Porsche.

 _Well, there goes strike three, nothing can surprise me anymore_. “I didn’t take you for a sportscar kind of guy, Sakusa,” Atsumu says with glee as he starts wanting to touch everything, but refrains because if he knows one thing, Sakusa likes to keep germs away.

“Not really. My father gave me this car a few years ago as a birthday gift. I drive it for things that involve him.”

“Whatta waste!” Atsumu cries and then practically jizzes in his new suit when he hears the engine start and feels so glamourous all at once. His excitement ends when he remembers what Tsukasa said and he has to ask, “Your friend told me about that kid. Are they gonna be okay?”

Sakusa lets out a somewhat distressed sigh, “It’s too early to tell, even though the surgery went fine. It’s not like he’s going to magically get better right away, but I have good staff watching over him.”

Atsumu pushes on, never really knowing when to stop asking questions, “Do you get a lot of cases like that? With kids and stuff?”

“Not for this. I get various cases, but rarely dealing with children. Children come in a few times a year, really. It doesn’t make it any easier though.”

“Well, I’m glad you were the one to operate on him.” Atsumu really hopes he sounded sincere and thinks he saw Sakusa holding back a smile.

\---

The Sakusas rented out the entire ballroom of an upscale hotel for this. He can see waiters walking around with food and drinks while people are seated at various tables that are adorned with fresh cherry blossom centerpieces, despite them being out of season. The white tablecloths and chairs would be a dangerous choice if Atsumu was going to go all out on the free liquor, but of course he can’t, which feels like such a waste of an open bar. He does settle for getting himself one drink, a fancy cocktail with a name he can’t pronounce, but it tastes like heaven, so he’s down for it. Sakusa, donned in a mask now, finds the table where Komori and Tsukasa are sitting at. They wave at them, telling them to come over.

Having a seat, a waiter brings over a menu which he scans, and decides to order the steak. As Sakusa begins to chat with his friends/family, Atsumu scans the room, remembering the presentation. There’s no sign of Suna and it wouldn’t surprise him if he showed up “fashionably late” or at all. He can recognize a few faces, the hot ones anyway and plans a way to run into all of them at some point that night, which he does in the first hour, using the “alcohol makes me have to pee” excuse so Sakusa won’t get suspicious.

Atsumu has made two trips to the bathroom to “accidentally” bump into both Sawamura and Sugawara. He learns that Sawamura is an avid volleyball fan and they have a nice conversation about some pros they hope to see at the Olympics, mentioning that he will keep his eye out for him in the near future. And Sugawara is apparently wasted already and talking about how much he loves Atsumu’s suit and think Daichi would look good in that color too. There’s definitely something between them that he’s interested in learning about from Suna later, but he has to go back to his table.

On the way he casually bumps into Shimizu and Yachi, complimenting Shimuzu’s soccer column for Sports Illustrated and Yachi’s recent ad campaign she created for the new Honda Accord. Yachi seems a little nervous but thanks him while Shimizu just bows, telling him with a straight face she’s seen him play and wishes them luck on his next match. He’s not sure he’s left a good impression, but you can’t win them all.

Atsumu stays quiet by Sakusa’s side, aiming to look pretty, because while it’s not a part of his job, he can at least justify some of these people’s thoughts of why Sakusa would be with him. It’s a pretty boring party, but the food is good, and he goes in and out of paying attention to them talk. The conversation gets interrupted when Komori points at a young couple walking to the table, with a baby carrier in the man’s hands. The woman looks like Sakusa’s sister, but nice. And his memory starts to repeat what he learned about her in Suna’s voice. _This is Mina, Keiko’s daughter. She’s married to a wealthy music executive who has been cheating on her even though she just had a baby because he sucks but they can’t get divorced yet because of blah blah blah rich people problems._ Yes, he actually said that, or at least he thinks he did since he was falling asleep at that point.

They come to the table, and Sakusa turns his attention to them. “Uncle Kiyoomi, it’s so good to see you!” Her husband gives a bow, which Sakusa lightly returns. “And you must be Atsumu! I’m Mina, Keiko’s daughter! I’ve heard wonderful things about you from my mother!” Tsukusa snorts while Komori is choking on his drink and Atsumu wants to shout, _that’s a lie and ya fucking know it!_

“I didn’t expect to see you here with the baby,” says Sakusa, making a disgusted face at it like he can see him clearly even though he’s too young to even recognize his own mother.

Laughing, Mina replies, “Grandma insisted I bring him.” A cellphone starts to ring and her husband excuses himself while passing the baby over to his wife, saying it’s work, but Mina looks down, like she doesn’t believe it. Atsumu feels bad for her.

Instead, Atsumu tries to distract her. “Sit down, Mina! Carrying all those things must be a lot on your arms, here let me grab that bag and set it down.” He stands up, as she hands him the baby bag and a blanket, which he sets down between them while she sits down. “What is this little kiddo’s name?”

Mina smiles, unbuckling her baby, a small little thing, dressed in a soft onesie. “His name is Kenji, after my husband’s father.” She takes him out of the carrier, holding him close. While Atsumu thinks all newborns look like potatoes, hers is a cute one. He continues to ask her questions about the baby, from sleeping schedules to formula machines that make it for you.

“My mother insists I get a nanny, but I feel like I would miss out on so much. Did you know my parents weren’t even there for my first steps or words? Kiyoomi swears I was speaking German before Japanese because of how much time I spent with my nanny. I just want him to know I’m here too,” she starts to nuzzle her son, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. It’s sweet, but not all that shocking.

He pretends to be surprised at her words. “I had no idea! Well, I think it’s wonderful you want to raise your child, but it’s not a bad thing to accept help every once in a while. I have no idea how my mother would have survived holding down a job with twins without my grandmother to be there.”

“Ah, well I guess I have that luxury to not work,” she laughs. Atsumu wished his family had that luxury when he was younger. His parents struggled to be there for him and Osamu, having to go to their grandmother’s after school where Osamu learned to cook so they could fend for themselves when they were old enough. They rarely came to their games because they had to work for double the cost of volleyball gear. When they moved to Tokyo, they would send them money every month to help with rent and groceries, but the twins felt guilty and stopped accepting it as soon as they both got decent paying jobs. He looks at Kenji, grateful that this child won’t have to know what being broke is like. Mina smiles, “Would you like to hold him?” Nodding, he takes the child out of her hands, making sure to give his head support. She asks Atsumu if he can watch him for five minutes so she can excuse herself to use the restroom and of course he lets her.

Jokingly, he brings the baby closer to Sakusa who flinches away, ready to kick his ass. “That thing better not vomit on me!” Sakusa says in disgust, not caring if he’s insulting his nephew.

“This “thing” is your great grandnephew or somethin’. If he hasn’t eaten in the past 30 minutes, I don’t think he’ll puke.” He takes the child’s bib to wipe some drool coming out of his mouth as the baby squints at Sakusa.

“It’s just great nephew. You know a lot about kids.” Sakusa sounds genuinely surprised about his skills with children.

Atsumu smiles, remembering his mom’s friend. “I babysat my neighbor’s kids a lot to make some extra money when I needed new volleyball supplies. She was a single mom, so I was there a lot on rest days and on the weekends.” Atsumu places Kenji back in his carrier, putting a blanket over it, attaching it to the top of the carrier so it won’t fall on him.

Mina is definitely taking more than five minutes as more people approach their table to say hello to Sakusa and lie to him about all the great things they’ve heard about Atsumu from his siblings. Atsumu is doing his best to smile at them and pretend like Sakusa has told him about them. However, he has seen no sign of Sakusa’s parents.

But he finally sees Suna who comes up to them. What he doesn’t expect is a little girl to pop out behind him. She can’t be more than five years old and bows until Komori picks her up. Suna peers at the baby carrier. Sarcastically, Suna tells him, “You know stealing kids is illegal right?”

“I should say the same to you. Sunarin, you have a kid?” Atsumu points at the little girl in Komori’s lap who is playing patty cake with Tsukasa.

“No, she’s my sister. My dad got remarried a few years ago to some young model in the middle of a midlife crisis and she happened. She’s cute though, so I tolerate her following me around. Unlike you, I like my younger sibling.”

As much as he wants to flip him the bird, Suna moves his attention to Komori, “Where’s your sister?”

Komori looks around for a second. “Uh, I don’t know, but I think she’s with my mom, so you better stay out of that general area.” Komori waves his hand around the lower left side of the ballroom where there’s a plethora of women sitting together.

Suna takes his sister out of Komori’s lap, “Cool. I’m gonna go chill with Aran and pretend she doesn’t still hate me for dumping her last Christmas.” The little girl waves as Suna walks off while everyone minus Sakusa waves back.

Atsumu wants to follow him and ask about him dating Komori’s sister, but decides against it and Komori tells him instead. “He came to terms with his sexuality on Christmas Eve and dumped her the next day when she thought he was going to propose. It was all bad timing really.”

“I feel like I should be more surprised than I am.”

\---

Mina eventually comes back with her mother in tow and thanks him, which was nice, even though it looks like she had to redo her makeup and her eyes are red. Keiko is glaring daggers at him like he had the audacity to watch her grandchild when she was nowhere to be found and replaces it with a fake smile. “My Atsumu, have you also taken up being a babysitter? I’ve never seen Kenji so comfortable around strangers.”

Sakusa doesn’t let Atsumu respond, “Stop taking out your jealousy on Atsumu, we all know the baby hates you, get over it. Where is dad? Or mom for that matter? I thought she would at least be here by now if dad is going to be this late.”

“My grandson loves me.” She grabs the carrier, and the baby starts to cry. Atsumu doesn’t want to say correlation means causation, but this is some hard evidence. “I haven’t seen mom or dad all night. Kyoji has been in and out as well. Neither of them have answered my calls. I honestly thought he’d be on time for once.”

Hell must be freezing over because Sakusa is actually agreeing with his sister. “I did too. Mom seemed adamant about it at dinner. I would have come later if he was just going to be late again. It’s their 50th wedding anniversary all over again.”

Atsumu starts to think that it’s weird his parents still aren’t here. It’s been well over two hours. Sakusa doesn’t seem to be worried and says his father hates these kind of things because of all the crowds and having to talk to people he doesn’t like. But Atsumu’s gut tells him that’s not the case but continues on with the night as long he needs to, playing a loving boyfriend when Tsukasa forces Sakusa to mingle in place of his father while his brother is periodically going missing.

\---

The tap of a glass through the microphone makes everyone look at the stage where they can see Kyoji as he asks for everyone’s attention. The room goes silent and there’s a heavy tension radiating off of Sakusa. “Hello everyone. First off, I’d like to thank all of you for coming. We are all so grateful you took time out of your day to come and celebrate my father’s 80th birthday. However, my father sends his regards to all of you. He has caught the flu and does not want to get anyone sick. He will not be coming to ensure the health and safety of all of us. You are all welcome to stay and enjoy yourselves. Thank you once again.” Kyoji leaves the stage and heads out the door, with his wife following closely after him

Atsumu hears Sakusa mumble a muffled “bullshit” through his mask and gets up immediately. “Tsukasa, go tell Suna to take Atsumu home.” He leaves the table and Atsumu tells Tsukasa to hold off for a minute.

He quickly catches up to Sakusa, pulling at his sleeve, ensuring not to touch his hand. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Sakusa looks around the room and jerks his arm away when he confirms no one is watching. “Now is not the time. It doesn’t concern you anyway.”

Frowning, Atsumu lets his accent out, “Well yer gonna tell me when the time is right, Omi-kun.”

“That is my decision to make.” Sakusa turns around and leaves, trying to catch up to his sister, who looks equally concerned. There’s not much Atsumu can do and he kind of feels helpless for a moment, wanting to help this man he barely even knows. He heads back to where Tsukasa and Suna are waiting and lets himself be driven back to his apartment.

Osamu is on the couch, looking concerned and already knows everything thanks to Suna texting him all night. “Whadda ya think happened?”

“I have no idea.”

\---

It’s been three days since he’s heard from Sakusa. Atsumu starts to think that maybe it wasn’t that serious. He’s checking his phone after practice, exhausted. He sees a text from Suna but doesn’t bother to open it until he gets home. Their coach has been drilling them like crazy in preparation for the tournament and he can’t be bothered to read some sarcastic comment right now.

Eventually, Atsumu forgets to check his phone at all, deciding to bother Osamu to ask if he knew this 35-year-old man had a younger sister. “Her name is Rei and she likes to play princess with me.”

He’s picking up an extra shift at the bar because he thinks things with Sakusa might go south, completely ignoring everyone until the next night. His friends have told him there’s a reason he has over a hundred unread messages and he can’t deny it anymore. When he’s finally in bed after a long night he opens Suna’s message. It’s a link to an article titled, “Sakusa Shigeru, Chief of Medicine at Tokyo University Hospital, has passed away in his sleep.”

Holy shit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [click here to find me on the twitters](https://twitter.com/tommymangos/)


	3. billetes llorando

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk would be an understatement to how Sakusa sounds. “Where is here? Have you been drinkin’? Ya sound plastered.”
> 
> “Obviously, my dad is fucking dead and I never learned healthy coping mechanisms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i was right about sakusa having an older brother and sister, suck it guide book print mistake. 
> 
> I googled a lot for this btw. 
> 
> anyway title translates to crying dollars from a Rosalia song.

When the twins were four, their grandfather passed away. At the time they couldn’t comprehend what was going on, playing outside their grandparents’ yard during the wake, running through the fields as people wept around them. They had come back into the house, clothes dirty, forcing their mother to step away and give them a bath, scolding them for not staying in the house. During the actual funeral, they fought, causing their mother to pinch them, saying they were going to be grounded once they got home. Atsumu vaguely remembers using his chopsticks to pick up bones out of a pile of ash, placing it in urn. He was too young to understand it then, not being able to comfort his own grandmother or mom on their loss. Atsumu doesn’t really miss him either and can’t speak up when they talk fondly of him because he didn’t really know him or form any lasting memories, even if they say he has his smile, that doesn’t mean much to him. Osamu was different on that end, being able to recall little details about him that it was enough to make his grandmother unknowingly (or knowingly, he doesn’t care) give him a bigger portion of curry. And his mother hid her own feelings too well, because he doesn’t even remember her shedding a tear, but then again he was about 4 years old.

And after that, some years later their grandmother’s friend had died, but he was too absorbed in being a kid that he didn’t do anything to support her. He went to her house when he needed to, did the necessary prayers, and moved on. Maybe that’s why she always liked Osamu just a hint more than him and taught him how to cook while she let Atsumu roll around in dirt. Osamu was a little more intuitive than he was as a kid and spent more time with her, even when she wasn’t taking care of them. Soon enough, Osamu hit him over the head and forced him to spend more time with their grandmother before she’s gone one day. It’s made him doubt his “who needs memories” mantra that he’s lived by, because now that he’s further away, he misses not being to eat his grandmother’s home cooking. There’s something that Osamu can’t get right and it’s just not the same, even if he says he’s following the exact recipe, aka just eyeballing everything in true old lady fashion.

That being said, no one really knows what the protocol is for contacting a man who is paying you to be his fake boyfriend about his recent loss. No words seem right for something like this, especially when he doesn’t even know how Sakusa is taking all of this. Suna doesn’t know much either, saying the Sakusas haven’t released much information on the matter, but the funeral is being prepared for. However, Atsumu settles for a text, doubting Sakusa wants to be bothered with a phone call. He makes Osamu review it before sending it out.

**To Sakusa**

**Sakusa, I hope you’re doing okay. If you need anything let me know**

Atsumu knows he can’t provide much but a shoulder to cry on, but something tells him Sakusa isn’t much of a crier. He didn’t expect a response, but he’s surprised he gets a phone call in the middle of the day right after his last class.

“Hello?” He says, nervous and unsure of what Sakusa could want.

“What are you doing right now?” Sakusa’s words are slurring. “Can you come here?”

Drunk would be an understatement to how Sakusa sounds. “Where is here? Have you been drinkin’? Ya sound plastered.”

“Obviously, my dad is fucking dead and I never learned healthy coping mechanisms.” The pitch in his voice is higher, he must be at his limit, but why would he call him of all people? “I’m at the bar near the gym. Can you drive here? Would be faster if you did.”

Worried, Atsumu looks around and gages how long it would take to get to the bar. “I don’t have a car, much less a license. I can be there in 15 minutes walking anyway compared to campus traffic.”

Sakusa actually whines, “Boo. Should I buy you a car? I’m sure you would love a nice NSX or maybe an M8? Would you want one of those, baby? You deserve so much for doing so well with my dumbass family.”

Baby? Atsumu feels his face heat up, but forces it to go away, starting to walk towards the bar. “Sakusa, don’t buy me a car. I’m on my way. Stay where you are please.”

“Fine.” The call is ended and Atsumu practically starts running across campus to get to there. He makes it there in half the time, which is a new personal best compared to the time he and Osamu raced there, betting drinks on it. A slim body is sitting at a small table in the corner, face down on the table, glass in hand. Atsumu makes his way to him, not sure if he’s asleep or not. “Sakusa? Are you okay?”

Sakusa doesn’t look up but still says, “Oh, you came.”

“Omi-kun, ya need to get yer face off the table. There’s probably like a jillion germs on that and you’ll get sick.”

That makes Sakusa get up and out of his seat. He hands Atsumu his credit card and tells him to pay the tab. It’s not too bad a bill, but too high for any one person when a cocktail is less than $5 here. Sakusa is sanitizing his hands, ignoring the constant rings and vibrations his phone is making. “Take me to your apartment.”

“Uh, are ya sure? I don’t exactly live in luxury like you.”

“I’m not going to make it home, Atsumu.”

“Okay, Sakusa.”

The walk is only about 10 minutes, but Sakusa won’t let go of the idea of buying him a car and Atsumu is tempted to take his phone away so he won’t drunkenly buy one with his rich people powers. On their walk, he has to put Sakusa’s arm over his shoulder, so he won’t trip. Maybe if in another situation, he’d actually be excited to be so close to the reserved, germaphobe, but something about having hold Sakusa while he dry heaves into a bush has taken away the magic of it all. Atsumu prays to every god there is that Osamu isn’t there, but every god is an asshole and Osamu is there in the middle of the living room in his boxers eating cereal out of a measuring cup while Boys Over Flowers is on the television.

Sakusa looks him up and down and raises his eyebrow, turning his head to Atsumu, “Is that what you look like too?”

Osamu is unbothered by the presence of drunk Sakusa who is still hanging on to Atsumu and answers, “Nah, he’s lower body focused while I’m more upper body.”

“Shut up, you human Dorito!”

“Ah, makes sense. Now, Atsumu, take me to your room so I can pass out. It was my turn to spend the night at with my mom, and boy oh boy did I not do well.”

“Wait, let me change the sheets!” Atsumu guides him to sit on the couch and rushes to their linen closet to get a pair of sheets and a clean comforter and strips his bed at lightning speed.

When he comes back, Sakusa is invested in the drama. “You know that actor, the one who plays that curly haired bitch? He’s a bitch in real life too. I met him at a show and he fucking demanded they get him rosé because all they had was red and white wine. And his assistant brought it and he spit it out because it was the wrong kind. He was kicked out and the press had a field day. I called the press. It was great.”

So Sakusa can be petty. Neat. As much as he would love to be digging more out of him, but he’s pulling him off the couch and letting him fall on to his bed. He immediately passes out.

Closing the door as quietly as possible, he glares at his brother. “What the fuck, did you not do the dishes? Put on some clothes!”

“Ugh, fine, but you’re ruining my day.”

Sakusa sleeps for hours that Atsumu wonders why he was even worried that he left him alone while he went to practice because he’s still passed out the same way he left him. He checks up on him every hour, to see if he’s awake or still alive really. There’s something ethereal about Sakusa when he sleeps, curls framing his face, pink lips slightly pouting, long lashes with a rare upward curve. He finds himself looking at his sleeping form a little longer than he should, imagining what it would be like to sleep next to him and wonders if his sheets will smell like his cologne when he leaves. The body doesn’t look like that of a man going through the death of his father.

But someone can’t sleep forever. In the middle of helping Osamu chop vegetables for dinner, he hears his bedroom door open and Sakusa stumbles out grumbling about the bathroom, which Osamu points to. They can hear him puking his guts out. “Man, I just cleaned that!” Osamu groans.

Sakusa’s frail body comes out of the bathroom, hanging on to the frame as another hand is over his head. Despite having just slept, he looks completely drained and paler than usual. Cheeks hallowed, hair tangled and lips no longer as rosy as they were a few hours ago. His white shirt is stained with whiskey and too wrinkled for someone with his high standards. “When was the last time you ate? Or showered?”

Sakusa takes longer than he should to answer. “Yesterday evening?”

Shaking his head, Atsumu tells his brother to finish chopping the last of the vegetables while he heads to his room. Going through his drawers, he takes out a new pair of sweats and the sweater Sakusa had just bought him. While Sakusa is a little bit taller, he’s sure to fit into them. He shoves Sakusa back into the bathroom, placing the clothes on top of the towel rack. “These are all clean and unused. There’s a pack of toothbrushes under the sink. Take a shower and when yer done, yer gonna eat some soup.”

Sakusa nods, not fighting back. Atsumu leaves him alone and goes back to the kitchen with Osamu, helping set the table. 20 minutes go by until the bathroom door finally opens, Sakusa stepping out. The sweats are an inch too short, but it works. He sits down at the table while Osamu hands him a bowl of udon. Sakusa seems to be apprehensive at first, but says thank you and takes a small bite, which leads to him inhaling his food. They eat together in silence as the twins glance at each other not really knowing how to make conversation with him.

“This was delicious. Thank you.” Sakusa wipes his mouth and places his chopsticks on top of his bowl. Osamu seems giddy at the compliment. He turns to Atsumu. “Atsumu, I’ve been meaning to contact you. The past few days have been… busy to say the least. My father’s wake is tomorrow if you would like to attend with me. The funeral is the day after, but that will be for close family and friends. I understand this might be out of your comfort zone, but I don’t intend on breaking our agreement.”

Osamu collects their plates and heads to his room, while Atsumu feels conflicted. He didn’t know Sakusa’s dad, but he doesn’t think Sakusa should be alone right now. He decides on what to do. “I’ll go to the wake, but I want to stay with you until the funeral is over.”

Sakusa looks less than pleased hearing his terms. “Fine. Go pack and I’ll call a car for us. Bring me your bills for this place and some aspirin, please.”

“Why the bills?”

Hungover Sakusa sounds more annoyed than usual. “So I can give you money for your half of the rent. And give me an average on how much you spend on food and other necessities. I told you I would pay for those too.”

“Uh, okay, I thought the money you gave me was for that. Lemme get ‘Samu, he usually takes care of everythin’.”

Osamu comes out of his room, holding this laptop with an excel sheet full of their monthly expenses. “I was eavesdropping.”

\---

Atsumu sets his bag down on the bed and Sakusa pulls some strings to get him formally excused from practice tomorrow on the condition he continues his workouts using the apartment’s gym. Sakusa has been making phone calls since they got here, sometimes yelling at his siblings saying who cares about flower arrangements or chair colors or advising nurses on what changes should be made on his patients’ treatments. Atsumu wonders if he was even given the proper time to mourn. He’s not an expert in helping people with this kind of thing, but he thinks he can distract him for the time being and let him not worry for a moment. As soon as he hangs up, Atsumu takes a spot on the couch, motioning him to come over, flipping through the channels to find a volleyball game of Argentina versus Spain on the television.

Pointing to the setter of the Argentinean team, Atsumu starts trying to engage him in the game, “That Oikawa guy is from Miyagi. He’s a citizen now in Argentina. I never even heard of him before watching his games, but Tobio said he learned from watching him.”

It seems to work because Sakusa starts to respond, “I’ve heard of him. I wonder how he feels about Argentina’s economic crisis. I’m not sure moving there is going to help him in the long run with their currency dropping, but with his skills, he’ll be able to transfer anywhere.” They continue to make comments about the game and players until Sakusa stops responding. He’s asleep again. After turning off the television and closing the curtains, Atsumu looks around the closets of the apartment to find a pair of blankets and takes pillows from the room. He sets a pillow down where he thinks Sakusa would land if he tips over and covers him. Despite there being a nice bed, he plops himself down on the other side of the long couch and plays on his phone, before drifting off, not wanting to leave Sakusa alone.

\---

The smell of eggs radiates through the room as Atsumu wakes up, feeling a little groggy. The other side of the couch is empty. A quick wave of panic goes through him, thinking he’s already lost track of Sakusa, but he calms down and looks behind him to see Sakusa in the kitchen, cooking. There’s two plates set on the table, with side dishes already on there. He sees Sakusa pour the egg over a mound of rice, next to a plate that was already finished.

“Atsumu, you’re up. Come eat before it gets cold.” Even back in his youth, Atsumu has never been a morning person, but the food smells so good that he’s practically floating to the table. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday. I’m sorry for bothering you and your brother. I shouldn’t have put my issues onto you.”

Yawning, Atsumu pours himself a glass of juice, “It’s okay, I’m glad ya called so I could help.” He cuts into the egg with his chopsticks as the creamy egg pours over his rice. It tastes great, not as good as Osamu’s, but he definitely didn’t expect Sakusa to cook this well. There are sides of pickled cucumbers, miso, cut salmon and fruit that he takes here and there. He didn’t think he would go into this much effort for him. “What time is the wake?”

“At 7 tonight. I have to leave to the main house for some last-minute preparations. You can stay here all day, I’ve asked Suna to come get you. I’ve left an envelope for you to take, I don’t want you to spend your own money on someone you didn’t know.” Atsumu has a frown on his face. “I won’t be drinking. I’ll be spending the night with my family and my mother has banned liquor for the time being.”

Ah, that’s right. Sakusa and his family have to stay one final night with their father before the funeral. “Okay, but ya have to respond to my messages when I check up on ya.”

“Fine.”

Atsumu offers to clean up so Sakusa can finish some business he needs to take care of. Not really knowing what to do with himself, he watches television, flipping through the hundreds of channels Sakusa has access to, but finds nothing to watch. He settles for chilling on the balcony and lets the autumn air hit his face. He opens a book he found on the kitchen counter. It takes him 30 minutes of flipping through the pages before he realizes he hates reading for fun, especially when it’s a book about the history of World War I from the perspective of the French. He decides he should bother Sakusa, to possibly provide a nice distraction from everything going on in his life. So in true Atsumu fashion, he barges into Sakusa’s room with no respect for his privacy and catches him with a towel around his waist, water sliding down his toned stomach, hair slicked back.

His mouth goes dry for a bit until Sakusa glares at him, “What do you need?”

He averts his eyes and tries not to ogle him. “I-I wanted to know if you needed anythin’?”

Sakusa doesn’t buy it.

“I wanted to pick yer outfit?”

Still not buying it.

“Fine, I wanted to distract you and make you stay a lil longer so you could relax before ya gotta go.”

Sighing, Sakusa opens up his closet, “You aren't required to worry about me.”

“Worrying about someone doesn’t have to do with a contract. It’s like human nature or somethin’. If ya didn’t want me to worry, then why’d ya let me stay?”

“Whether I want to admit it or not, having you here is keeping me on task and from self-destructing.” Atsumu follows him into the large walk-in closet that is double the size of his room. “Since you’re here, you might as well help me pick a black suit. I can’t decide between the Givenchy or the Zegna.”

\---

Despite having access to every channel imaginable (even the uncensored porn), the fastest internet he’s ever used, and a stocked fridge, he feels so bored without anyone here. He’s finished his homework, gone to work out and masturbated twice in the span of 3 hours.

There’s nothing in Sakusa’s apartment worth going through, until he decides to snoop around, finding a photo album in the other guest room. It’s surprising he would keep this here instead of his actual home. It’s a bit worn out, with some dust, meaning that Sakusa hasn’t looked at it in a while. Considering this is only a place he comes to sleep here, it’s no surprise it’s been forgotten. He flips through it, seeing photos of him as a child with his older siblings in places like Disneyland, Italy and Hawaii. They don’t seem happy despite being in some of the most amazing places in the world. Sakusa stands out the most, being the smallest in every photo. His parents look as old as his are now, their father not smiling in a single picture in contrast to their mother who seems like she’s desperately trying to get one good family photo. Turning each page, he notes that the younger Sakusa is, the more they're actually smiling and he wonders at what age did they stop getting along.

The last pages are different because it’s not his family, it’s Sakusa and Ushijima. The photos range from being on vacation, to formal events and casual selfies. Every couple of photos, he’ll see Sakusa giving Ushijima a longing gaze with a small smile, so happy he was with the love of his life. It’s a beautiful smile that Atsumu has not been graced with. Something about Sakusa still having these bothers him.

He closes the photo album and decides he needs to take a long bath.

\---

Suna drives like a maniac when Osamu isn’t with him, cutting off cars, not looking before he turns and curses when someone decides to drive a little slower than the speed limit. He’s holding on for dear life all while making sure to send snaps to his brother so he can reconsider his “relationship” (if they can call it that) with a man trying to murder his twin. They have to park outside a large gate, which leads to the Sakusa family home. The outside of the home is a mix between modern and traditional, exuding elegance with lavish trees and flowers in front. They head out back because it’s supposed to be the fastest route to getting to the room where the wake is taking place.

They come to an open sliding door where he can see people already seated and a casket in front. Before entering, they sign their names in the book and give their condolence money to the girl in front. Flowers are decorated around the room, a bright contrast to the event they’re at with gloom in the air. There’s some empty seats in the back that they take where they see Ai sitting by herself. Quietly greeting her, they sit down. Golden eyes begin to scan the room, to see who is there and notices a large, broad shouldered man. It's Ushijima Wakatoshi. Averting his eyes, he looks forward trying to find Sakusa.

Sakusa and his family enter including the grandkids and great-grandkids, many of them with bloodshot eyes and dark circles, especially Hanako who looks like she hasn’t slept in days. Sakusa has a hand on her shoulder and helps her take a seat. A few more minutes pass by and the priest starts the prayers. Atsumu tries his best, not really knowing what to fully say, sometimes mumbling something that he thinks sounds correct. They’re some of the final few who go light an incense. Shigeru looks peaceful, like he’s finally able to rest after a long life of working. He makes eye contact with Sakusa on his way back to his seat, offering a small nod.

When the last person has sat down, one by one each sibling makes a speech, Keiko breaking down in tears when she mentions how supportive he was of her art. Sakusa is last, looking vulnerable for once in contrast to his hard demeanor. “My father was a hardworking man. He did his best with what little time he had for us, but always made sure we were loved. I’m glad he was my father. I wish we could have spent more time with each other.” His voice cracks a bit at the end as he shuffles back to his seat, his sister putting a hand on his shoulder. Atsumu looks over to Ushijima, catching him staring at Sakusa, just as heartbroken. A few more people say their words about Shigeru until the priest closes out the wake. The funeral director announces that they can make their way outside if they would like.

Atsumu patiently waits his turn to talk with Hanako offering his condolences formally. She smiles and hugs him. “Thank you for coming, my dear. Shigeru was so happy after meeting you and I’m sure he would have loved to know you more.”

Her words hit a jab in his heart as he steps aside for the next person to talk to her. He makes sure to do the same with Keiko who seems just as drained as her youngest brother, not sassing him today. However, Kyoji keeps a blank face, doing his job to thank everyone for coming. Atsumu finds Sakusa in a corner, unsuccessfully avoiding everyone who wants to offer him their condolences. Atsumu slides beside him. “Hey, you doin’ alright?”

“As good as I can right-” Sakusa is interrupted by an equally tall and broad man in front of him now. “Hello, Wakatoshi.”

Bowing, Ushijima says, “I’m sorry for your loss. I know how hard this must be on you, Kiyoomi.”

“Thank you, Wakatoshi. I’m surprised you made it.”

“I flew in as soon as I heard.”

Atsumu cocks his head to the side, folding his lips in, unconsciously moving closer to Sakusa. He’s so tempted to grab his hand, trying to prove himself in a relationship that he’s not really in. _Stop being so competitive, he’s not yer boyfriend!_ Ushijima has more reason to be here than he does, having known the Sakusa more intimately, probably having spent countless nights in this very house. A warm hand is on his shoulder as he continues to doubt himself. “This is Atsumu, my boyfriend.” His cheeks are warm as he smiles and bows at Wakatoshi, smirking a bit at his supremacy in this right of being his boyfriend, even if it is fake.

Exchanging pleasantries, Wakatoshi eventually excuses himself. Sakusa looks at Atsumu, “I have to stay here tonight and Suna looks ready to go. You should go. Have him take you to go get something to eat and then go to bed. You have class and practice tomorrow, okay? I’ll be at the apartment by the time you’re done.”

“Whadda are ya, my dad?” Atsumu then realized what he said and feels like an idiot. _Why would you call him dad when his just fuckin' died ya dip shit!_

In contrast to his thoughts, Sakusa lets out a rare laugh. “I guess you could call me that.”

When he walks out, he pretends that he didn’t feel his heart drop just a bit as Sakusa approaches Ushijima.

\---

Suna feeds him McDonalds, neither wanting to wait too long for a meal while they make light conversation about Osamu agreeing to babysit his sister because she specifically asked for him, not really wanting to dwell into a deep conversation. It’s not like Suna is the talkative type anyway, at least not with him. Back at Sakusa’s, he strips himself of his suit and decides to steal one of Sakusa’s pillows because it's longer and he feels like hugging something. He jumps onto his bed, holding the pillow tight.

**To Sakusa:**

**Goodnight. I hope everything is going okay**

He doesn’t get a reply. Instead he lays in bed thinking about how he feels about this man he barely knows.

Atsumu has always fallen for people fast, getting crushes on anyone who showed him a bit of attention. He’s so used to people not liking him, that he often confuses kindness with romantic interest especially when he was younger. Once in grade school, a girl gave him her pencil and he made sure to keep it safe because he thought it would be a cute thing to have at their wedding. She got a boyfriend on the playground the next week and he had moved on to the boy who let him borrow an eraser. Now as an adult, he usually catches himself doing it, stopping before he dives down deeper into it, now knowing people can be nice to you for no reason. What a concept.

That's why things work well with Tobio because Tobio isn’t nice to him. He doesn’t tell him shit about how good he looks, how hot his accent is or how talented he is. He’s just blunt and tells him he’s an asshole with a good dick. Tobio doesn’t cuddle, doesn’t stay around longer than he should and never beats around the bush. Atsumu only kisses him because he likes the way it feels.

But Sakusa hasn’t been kind to him, not in the traditional sense. Sure, he’s paying his bills and got him clothes, but cooking him breakfast for taking his drunk ass home and complimenting him like 3 times? Why should that qualify as him being nice? What about Sakusa is attracting him to like him more with each meeting?

Is he attracted to Sakusa out of sympathy because his dad just died and Atsumu wants nothing more than to make him a feel better through this? Or maybe he’s thinking with his dick again because Sakusa is an attractive man who also finds him equally attractive. Because let's be honest, he wouldn’t have clicked on his profile if he looked like ass, especially looking at how hot Ushijima is.

Atsumu decides to ignore his problems and figures future Atsumu can figure it out tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [click here to find me on the twitters](https://twitter.com/tommymangos/)


	4. basement money rich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Rin said you’re ‘uncle cries a lot.'"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had a covid scare and got sick. work is building up so i will not be able to follow through with weekly updates. sorry about that y'all.
> 
> didn't proofread well, as always.
> 
> Anyway: Spanish translations below
> 
> que feo: how ugly  
> pendejito: fucking dumbass  
> mira: look

Sleeping through an exam review for his accounting final wasn’t what he intended to do, but he wakes up to the class filing out and drool on his notebook. Grossed out by his own self, he puts away the notebook and reads the board, saying the review will also be online. Well, at least he got the attendance points. Yawning, he makes his way to a campus coffee shop, overpaying for a small vanilla latte on his way to his next class. He stops and looks at his reflection through a glass case, hair a mess, shirt wrinkled and a hole in his sweats. Even on a normal day he doesn’t look this wrecked. Truth be told, he barely slept, too worried about Sakusa and how he was holding up with his family and the funeral. He wouldn’t be surprised if he got another drunk call from him, even though he promised not to drink. Finding a backrow seat in his economic class, he lays his head down for another nap, knowing he can text Kuroo for the notes.

Practice is hell. The assistant coach is taking out his personal problems on the team, making them do a million drills that he’s actually struggling to keep up. Is it the team’s fault that their coach’s wife left him for some wannabe Elvis impersonator? No, but here they are diving onto the floor a hundred times. It feels like his arms are about to fall off when they reach the one hundredth practice serve when the coach finally lets them off to shower. Osamu whips him with a towel before he falls asleep standing in the shower.

On the train, his muscles ache as he hangs on to a bar in the crowded train, having given up his seat to an old woman. The crowd slowly begins to recede as he approaches his stop and makes the 5-minute walk to the apartment complex, showing his guest pass to the guard so he can make his way up to Sakusa’s place. He’s about to give a whole new meaning to the term “nap apartment” when he makes it to his room and collapses before remembering _oh shit Sakusa is supposed to be here_ and he jumps out of the bed and runs to the living room to see him look up from his book. He looks comfortable, but it’s clear he’s probably had as much sleep as Atsumu has.

“Go to bed.” Sakusa goes back to book, which Atsumu realizes is the book he had bought for his dad and decides talking to Sakusa is more important right now.

He makes his way to the other side of the couch, giving some distance between them. “Yer one to talk, ya look like shit. How was everythin’?”

“It was fine. Now go to bed.”

Atsumu isn’t going to let him get out of talking to him that easily. He’s no therapist, but even he knows bottling up your emotions can’t be good for anyone. “C’mon, I know you must be feelin’ some type of way. It’s healthy to talk about it!”

“If I talk about it, will you go to bed?”

“As long as you go to bed too.”

Sakusa shuts his book, placing it to the side. “I don’t know what you expect me to say. It was a funeral. Seeing my mother cry was hard. No one really knew what to say to us, random people we barely knew told stories about him and my sister almost punched me for putting on gloves for the kotsuage.” Sakusa’s head falls back against the couch, as he stares up into the ceiling. “I feel like I’m here with you because I don’t know what to do with myself.”

Atsumu hides the fact he’s a little offended and tries his best to keep him talking. “Why don’t you spend time with yer family? I feel like now is the time to do it.”

“My mom wants to be alone today, and my sister isn’t doing well. She started yelling when they cremated him and all she wants to do is be with her family. Kyoji told me Ai is pregnant and I assume he’s going through something because I think he was drunk at the funeral. I’m sure he didn’t plan to have more kids at his age.”

Atsumu recalls meeting his parents and seeing how much older they were. “Well, did yer parents plan to keep having kids when you were born?”

Sakusa pauses, like he’s deep in thought for a moment and continues, “No, my parents didn’t plan for me so late in life, especially my father. He had his oldest kids and that was all he needed, really. Being the youngest, he gave me a lot more freedom to do what I wanted. I was allowed to play volleyball through college until medical school, he accepted me when I came out and didn’t pressure me to get married.” Sakusa yawns before he adds, “My siblings resent me for it and think he loved me more. My brother was given all the responsibilities of an oldest son and my sister was expected to get married and my dad told her to marry someone she’s never really cared for. I don’t think they’re coping with it well with all of this. They have more conflicting feelings about this than I do.”

”I mean you got wasted and called me, so I think yer all in the same boat.”

Laughing, Sakusa agrees. “I guess you’re right.”

Atsumu lets his curiosity get the better of him and he has to ask about his ex. “What about Ushijima? I’m sure you guys have a lot to catch up on.”

Sakusa seems unphased by the question. “No, not really. Wakatoshi is someone who never really changes, no matter how long it’s been. We talked a bit last night, but he’s never been one to express his feelings or able to read other people’s emotions. We had a straightforward conversation and he told me he heard therapy could help me with this.”

A wave of sudden relief washes over him as he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. There was no reason for Sakusa to lie to him about his interactions with Ushijima (which he doesn’t care about! He really doesn’t!). “Alright, Omi-kun. But ya know what really helps? Gettin’ a decent amount of sleep. C’mon, let’s get our asses to bed.”

Sakusa stands up and stretches. “I’ll take your word for it, but I’m fine.”

 _What a liar_. Atsumu can’t help but feel sorry for him having to come back to him instead of his own home. Maybe he’s not good at this comfort thing after all.

\---

It’s been a little over two weeks since he’s last seen Sakusa. According to Suna’s rumor mill, the Sakusa family hasn’t been seen out in public for a while, foregoing any parties until the mourning period is over. So it’s not like he needs him anyway if there’s nothing to be seen at. Instead, he’s at Suna’s penthouse for the fourth time this week sitting on the floor while a five-year-old tries her best to make small ponytails on his short hair as he drowns in his not romantic but kind of still crushing hard on Sakusa feelings. Every so often, he’s pulled out of it when Rei pulls his hair too hard or smacks him in the head with a brush, bringing him back to reality which is him babysitting for Suna.

Osamu had told him one day that Suna was trying to get custody over his sister. Their dad has gone MIA after being accused of tax evasion and there’s no way her mom is fit to take care of her, having barely been there. She’s been in the care of underpaid Au Pairs for that vast majority of her life that she can speak better Spanish than Japanese, often mixing the two languages. Suna is the only stability she has and wants her to be in a secure home for once, which has Atsumu thinking he’s not a complete dickhead.

Atsumu agreed to take on babysitting on Suna’s terms that Osamu must be there too, so she doesn’t “die of starvation” or something. It’s not a bad gig, better than working at the bar, and obviously Suna is overpaying him, so he can’t complain too much about how much marker ink is on his arms or finding an abnormal amount of glitter on himself that never truly goes away, because he’s been finding specs of it on all his furniture for weeks. Plus, he's been saving the extra money so he actually afford to live on his own after graduation and maybe splurge a bit on a nice gift for his parents. 

Osamu, hair already done to “perfection” as she put it, is in the kitchen preparing lunch for them, consisting of different onigiris in cute animal shapes. It’s his newest food obsession and he’s gotten really good at it lately, even if he can only do the basics right now. He sets down a tray on Rei’s princess table as she drops everything and goes to eat, releasing Atsumu from her clutches.

Atsumu rubs the sore spots on his head but scolds her lack of manners. Even if he has none, doesn’t mean she shouldn’t. “Ay, whadda ya say to yer uncle ‘Samu?”

Putting a finger to her lips, she cocks her head to the side before a metaphorical light bulb pops up. “Thank you, big brother!”

“Brother?”

Rei treats him like he’s stupid, which is valid because she’s still a Suna after all. “Duh! He’s married to Rin so he’s my brother now! Rin said you’re ‘uncle cries a lot.’”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” Atsumu jokes, already knowing about how Rei wanted to play wedding where she was the officiator because she thought it was a more important role. He turns back to Rei. “I do not _cry_ , I whine _._ There’s a difference. Wait why am I arguin’ with someone I can drop kick?”

“I’m sure you’d get assassinated and dumped into the ocean before you could even lay a finger on that kid.” Osamu pinches Rei’s cheek as she eats. “But, she has a point. Yer more of a downer lately.”

Atsumu thinks back to his behaviors lately. Sure, maybe he’s a little “sad” that Sakusa hasn’t so much as said a hello to him, but that’s totally normal when you barely know a guy who paid you to date him. There are boundaries. They’re not friends, they’re not actually dating and they don’t even know each other’s favorite colors. 

That doesn’t mean he can’t worry about him. Is he taking care of himself? Is he binge drinking again? How does he feel now that he can’t even talk to his father anymore? He still plays back the wake, the look of heartbreak, pure sadness and feels bad for him because Atsumu can’t imagine life without his father and his random texts of the family dogs sleeping or leaving butt dialed voicemails of him and his mom talking about what they should have for dinner. What kind of support can he even give someone he barely knows? Sometimes he thinks he isn’t doing enough to help Sakusa, other times he wonders why he cares so much when he should be worrying about not failing his calculus final. He checks the time and pulls himself back to where he is.

Today is a rare occasion because they have practice while Suna is working late at the office. After lunch, they get Rei ready, putting her hair up in a messy bun (Osamu has been really trying to learn how to do her hair so she won’t look like a complete mess when she starts school next year), pick out an adidas track suit and have her put on a huge coat because they don’t know how cold it is outside. They go on to the crowded train and they have death grips on her small hands, not wanting to lose her and hold on tight until they get to practice.

While their coach is confused as fuck at who would ever let the Miya Twins™ babysit a child, he’s not mad that they brought a child with no prior warning. The same can’t be said about the assistant coach who looks like he’s plotting their death the next time he runs practice. They take turns going into the locker room to change and set her on a bench with a tablet. Today is a practice match against a local university team who kicked their ass last year during the last collegiate tournament and has the whole team itching to win.

They’re on a roll, winning the first set thanks to Atsumu almost breaking his back to make the perfect set for Osamu. It’s double the energy making sure they’re concentrated on both this game and the child with them, who has set aside her tablet and started cheering them on while their teammates block any stray balls from hitting her. He can tell by the way Osamu keeps getting distracted by her cute cheers of “Go! Go! Go!” that he’s not 100% in the game, starting an argument mid-game before the next serve.

“Get your head out of your butt!” He yells while Osamu rolls his eyes, turning his back to Rei to secretly flip him the bird. The twins are trying not to curse for the sake of making sure Rei doesn’t imitate them later. Apparently, Suna said dumbass in the car once after some cut him off and she wouldn’t stop repeating to everyone, which was funny at first, but got old really fast.

Atsumu is a minute from punching him before he notices a group of men on the second floor of the gym watching them, all in their nice suits, chatting about the game going on below. That’s when it’s Atsumu’s turn to be distracted. Among them is none other than Sakusa Kiyoomi who looks like he wants to punch the man next to him who is talking up a storm. Said man is the head of the financial department for the university sports teams, probably trying to secure more funding for the team so they can put more money on the baseball team and have them survive on whatever extra is left to allocate. The twins always wondered if their scholarship money had ever come from Sakusa, but it has to be a joint effort from all the men above.

From his spot on the court, he can’t really see if Sakusa has been taking care of himself. He still looks equally pale, still has a permanent glare on his face, which is pretty normal for him. Atsumu hopes he can get a better look after the game.

The ball hits the back of his head, getting him out of his trance like state. “It’s yer serve, dummy.”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it.” Atsumu walks to the serve line, taking six steps back, aiming to impress the men above them. The ball lands in between the opposing team’s libero and captain, both frozen in place. He continues to make 3 more points before he lands an out, but is fairly proud of his service game, for now. He peaks up to see Sakusa eyes glued on him, which is a given, because he’s an impressive player to watch and has been receiving recruitment calls like crazy. The other team calls a time out, so Rei starts handing out water bottles to everyone as they discuss their next moves. Atsumu doesn’t stop glancing at the railing as Sakusa stares intently at him as the other man continues to sell the team to the rich men around him.

They win the game 2-0, that gives a satisfying feeling in everyone, but leaves them all wanting an official match sooner. His muscles are aching, sweat is dripping from his forehead and just for show, he pulls up his shirt to wipe the sweat off, ignoring Osamu’s yells to have some decency. The men leave and he hopes he put on a good enough show so they can upgrade their equipment.

Osamu heads to the showers first while Atsumu stays behind, helping Rei learn how to bump a ball. Atsumu never gets to see Sakusa after the game.

His turn to shower comes and he immediately crouches on the floor, screaming into the empty locker room as his hands cover the entirety of his face. Atsumu feels his heart beating faster from the slight hope Sakusa would have come down to say hi to him. He feels stupid for thinking he would. The thought of banging his head against a wall so he can get some brain damage that Sakusa can look at has crossed his mind more lately, which is concerning.

Atsumu stands back up, letting the hot water turn cold until he’s finally done. All his shit is haphazardly put into his gym bag and he slams his locker shut before coming out so they can go back to Suna’s for the night. Rei falls asleep sitting on Osamu’s lap while on the train ride home. They carry her back to the penthouse, tuck her in and both collapse on the guest bed Atsumu has for the night.

“So, Sakusa hasn’t said shit to you, even after seein’ you play?”

“Uh, no I don’t think so.” Taking his phone out, he sees a few message notifications, none from Sakusa. There’s a new bank notification, which he assumes is Suna paying him for his excellent babysitting skills, meaning he’s home and must have just slipped in. Suna has made it a point to pay him once he comes home so he can make sure Rei is alive, which is rude, but also kind of fair. “Aren’t ya gonna go say hi to Sunarin?”

Osamu’s voice is muffled by the pillow he’s current buried under. “Did I hit ya too hard today? Rin just texted me he won’t be gettin’ here for another hour.”

 _Then what is the deposit notification from?_ Atsumu opens his bank app and finds a deposit for $4500, which comes with a note written below it.

**Monthly allowance including rent, utilities and food.**

**-SK**

Atsumu heart beats wildly again, knowing Sakusa is still going to see him eventually.

\---

Eventually comes the next day when they’re on their way to pick up Rei from daycare and he gets a call from Sakusa. He lets it ring for a few seconds so he doesn’t seem desperate.

“Hello?”

Sakusa gets straight to the point. “Atsumu, are you busy this Saturday?”

Atsumu grins, letting Osamu head inside the building while he stands outside to continue the phone call. “I have a game in the morning then I made plans to take Suna’s sister to the aquarium in the evening so he can go be gross with Osamu. Why? Ya miss me?”

Annoyed, Sakusa replies, “My therapist says it’ll be healthy for me to surround myself with different people and you’re considerably different from the people who surround me in my daily life. Saturday is the only day I have availability.”

Atsumu laughs, relieved he’s seeing a professional about his grief. “I hope that’s a compliment. Anyway, if ya want, I can see if Suna is okay with you taggin’ along.”

“Fine.” Sakusa hangs up.

He makes Osamu text Suna immediately and the latter agrees, saying that his sister is probably in safer hands with Sakusa. Which wow, fucking rude because Atsumu is a great babysitter. Then again, Suna doesn’t know about the time he almost lost Rei at the park while Osamu was buying groceries nearby and almost grabbed the wrong kid when it was time to go. Not his fault the two girls looked the same. But that’s besides the point. The fact the Sakusa Kiyoomi asked to hang out with him outside of a family function feels like a miracle.

\---

“There’s no fucking way. You invited him to go to the aquarium with a kid? What the hell, Atsumu that’s so lame!” Kuroo doesn’t stop laughing at his misery as a few heads turn in the small izakaya wondering what’s so funny. Gin also joins in on the laughter while Bokuto orders another round for the table.

Bokuto pats Kuroo on the back, making him almost choke on his drink. “C’mon Tetsu, don’t be so mean to him! Didn’t ya make Kenma call you ‘Big Papa’ in bed and he laughed so hard he kicked you in the crotch?”

“Shut the fuck up, Bokuto! I told you that in confidence!”

It’s nice that the laughter switches over to Kuroo so Gin can offer him a small pat on the shoulder, offering his sympathy. “Hey man, we all have bad dates. No use in wallowin’ in it and just plan to make it a good time.”

Trust Gin to say some sappy bullshit that’s actually true instead of encouraging him to drink the shame away. “Yeah, yer right. But he said his therapist recommended that he hang out with different people. What does that say about me? He didn’t choose to hang out with me before that.”

Kuroo scoffs, “His dad died, dude. It’s kind of selfish of you to think like that about it. Shit, I would ignore people I barely knew too if I needed to recover from that.”

“I know that! But I didn’t want the reason for him to wanna see me is because it was a suggestion!”

Chiming in, Bokuto adds his two cents. “But he does wanna see you. I don’t see the problem. ”

Atsumu makes a face, not holding back. “Of course you don't, Bo. Keiji had to stop ya from gettin’ a cat!”

“But it was so cute!” Pouting, Bokuto takes a large gulp of beer and burps. “I would be a great cat dad.”

“Yer _allergic_ to cats, Bo.” Gin continues to add in the dangers of Bokuto owning a cat, including the fact that he’s killed a cactus. Yes, a cactus that required no care.

Bokuto interrupts Gin mid explanation about how hard fostering a kitten really is and goes back on to the topic of Atsumu and Sakusa. “Okay, okay, but like he actually wants to spend time with you, even if he wasn’t paying you.”

“But he is payin’ me.”

Kuroo interjects, “No, wait. Bo has a point. Think about it, he coulda paid someone else to hangout with, but he didn’t. He chose to keep you around even if you’re not going out to parties. Maybe he doesn’t _like_ you, but he clearly wants to see you. And so what if it’s to be friends. Is there anything wrong with being friends with this guy?”

“There’s nothin’ wrong with being friends with him! I just don’t understand why I like him so much when he isn’t even my type!”

Gin laughs. “That’s because he’s not head over heels in love with ya and ya can’t stand that.” He turns to Atsumu, while Kuroo and Bokuto lean forward to listen in. “Yer so used to gettin’ what you want because yer hot shit. Ya want him because he isn’t overtly crushin’ on you. You’ve always hated those girls who scream out yer name during games, but always went for people who didn’t bullshit around you and kept yer ego in line. But even those people were so in love with ya that ya didn’t really have to work for it. Now that ya do, yer confused as shit as to why this guy hasn’t fallen for you yet.”

It’s like a slap in the face because Gin is right. He’s never entered a relationship with anyone who didn’t clearly like him. “Ah, fuck yer right. Goddammit, Gin.”

\---

Atsumu has been mentally preparing himself for this outing with Sakusa. He’s preplanned his outfit and even had Rei look it over to which she said “ _que feo_ ” in a bright tone, so that makes him feel better about his choice. In his head, he practices what he’ll say to Sakusa, how he’ll go about almost falling so Sakusa can catch him and stare into the fish tank so Sakusa can be enthralled by his beauty. Perfect plan, really. But more than that, he wants to check in on Sakusa and see if he’s doing okay.

At 2PM sharp, they meet Sakusa at the aquarium, who is donned a turtleneck, mask covering his face. He has some bags under his eyes and his dark circles are worse than they were, skin paler than usual, which makes Atsumu think he wasn’t doing as well as he should be. He really needed to get outside and was at least taking those steps to do so. Before he can say the introduction he had practiced in his head, Rei steps in front of him.

“Hi! I’m Reina, but you can call me Rei! Atsumu said your name is Omi-kun!” Atsumu blushes hard as she continues. “Hey, do you sleep? You look like you need a nap!” Rei points at his face, stating the obvious. She goes up too close to him and starts sniffing him, which has Sakusa glaring at her, taking a step back. “My brother was right! You do smell like hand sanitizer!”

Atsumu pulls her away. “Sorry, she’s still in her I repeat everything phase. And for the record, you smell like fresh linen in my opinion.” _Fresh linen? What the fuck!_ Atsumu can’t wait to sit in the bathtub thinking about why he was ever born after saying that.

“Better than smelling like artificial strawberries. What is this kid bathing in?”

Rei sticks her tongue out at him. It’s going to be a fun day already.

Together, they walk through the underwater exhibit, watching as fish swim above them. Atsumu isn’t surprised at Rei’s amazement, but Sakusa has the same wonder in his eyes that she has, looking so amazed. “Have ya never been here before, Omi-kun?”

“Fish and the ocean have never peaked my interest, but seeing it like this is amazing.” The glow from the lights shine on Sakusa’s face, painting it a lovely blue. It’s unreal how beautiful he looks that it almost put Atsumu in a trance like state, which wasn’t his plan, but he’s not mad that it’s not Sakusa looking at him like the way he is now.

While entranced, he actually falls on his face. No, Sakusa did not come and save him because instead Rei pulls him up, laughing calling him a “ _pendejito_ ” which he’s pretty sure is a really bad word if he’s learned anything from watching Narcos. Sakusa has a blank look on his face, probably suffering from secondhand embarrassment. Rei continues to laugh at his expenses as she drags him towards the shark exhibits.

Pointing at small shark, she jumps up. “ _Mira_ , ‘Tsumu! Hammerhead sharks! Did you know it takes them 15 years to be able to have a baby? That’s why they’re endangered! People hunt them before they can make more babies!”

Sakusa sounds surprised when he asks, “Where did you learn that? That’s not common knowledge for a five-year-old.”

Turning to back to the fish, she puts her face against the glass. “My daddy told me! He knows a lot about sharks. He promised to take me to go pet a real one before he went away. But Rin said he’ll take me on his day off _porque_ daddy had to go on a long business trip!”

Atsumu fakes a smile. “Well isn’t that nice of yer brother. I’m sure yer dad will take you too.”

“Yeah! And mamá can come too!”

Sakusa and Atsumu exchange knowing glances. They’re not coming back, everyone knows it. Sakusa walks about next to her and squats next to her, pointing at another shark. “What about that shark? What do you know about that one?”

Atsumu smile falls as Rei begins to explain that some Great White Sharks try to eat their young. They continue on with their view of the shark exhibit, Rei insisting that they see every single one before they go let her pet a stingray. Sakusa continues to ask her questions about different fish while Atsumu stands in the back, letting them bond.

\---

Rei is in a small play area with other kids which Sakusa thinks is a health hazard, making her sanitize her hands before entering or approaching them. When Rei is out of earshot, Atsumu opens up to Sakusa. “How have you been? It’s been awhile since we’ve talked.”

Sakusa takes out an alcohol wipe from his pocket, wiping his seat before replying. “Fine.”

Atsumu rolls his eyes at him. “Omi-kun, why do you do this? Ya know I’m gonna keep botherin’ you until ya tell me everything.”

Huffing, Sakusa gives in. “I’ve just been drowning myself in my work that my patients are actually concerned I’m doing too much when it comes to their health. Tsukasa and Motoya have been throwing their pity at me by constantly coming over and invading my space which is why my therapist said I should be around new people.”

“So ya chose me? I’m fattered!”

Sakusa replies honestly. “You’re not bad company. We have common interests. You haven’t been annoying me or pretending to care about me. People I haven’t talked to since high school have been messaging me how sorry they feel for me and it’s the most annoying thing ever. You’ve kept a proper distance, not faking anymore concern than necessary. And after watching your game, I’ve been meaning to tell you that you need to fix your sets.”

“There ain’t nothing wrong with my sets! If someone can’t hit it, it just means they weren’t tryin’ hard enough!” Atsumu calms down and decides to confess. “Well, to be honest, I’ve been worried about you but didn’t wanna cross any boundaries. I’m glad you took Ushijima’s advice to go see a professional because I didn’t think ya wanted to be bothered by someone ya really don’t know.”

“I appreciate that. It’s appropriate behavior for our situation.”

 _Our situation_. That’s right, Sakusa sees this as a business transaction, it wouldn’t have been appropriate for him to do more than necessary. He still decides to change the subject. “Rei looked happy tellin’ you about all her shark facts.”

Sakusa looks at Rei, who is playing tag with a group of kids. “You know you shouldn’t pity her so much. It shows when you lie to her about her parents.”

“Yer tellin’ me you don’t feel sorry for a kid bein’ raised by Suna?”

Atsumu notes how Sakusa’s tone changes to a more serious one than it was before. “I feel sorry that people are pitying her. She’s a smart child and more intuitive than you think. She’ll start to notice the fake smiles and the lies soon. You can try to hide the fact her father is never coming back, confusing her and then resenting all of you when she’s older. Or you can tell her the truth and care for her so she can create her own family.”

“Omi-kun, she’s 5. I don’t think it’s our call to tell her anything. It’s not like anyone knew this would happen.”

“No, but you can still uplift her and give her the confidence to say in the future that she wasn’t truly left on her own. Strengthen her today so she won’t regret tomorrow.”

Atsumu doesn’t really know what to say and is grateful when Rei runs back up to them, yelling that she has to go potty. Atsumu jumps from his seat and rushes her to the nearest family restroom where he stands outside waiting for her to come out, lost in thought. Atsumu has become a true sugar baby. Someone who a person pays for their company and nothing more. He can live with that, can’t he? And maybe he’ll get over it ‘cause he’ll find out that Sakusa hates puppies or something and effectively kill his crush so he can go on with this arrangement with no feelings. Yeah, that’s what will happen.

Rei comes out, announcing her hands are clean and they make their way outside. Sakusa pulls out his keys, ready to leave, offering to give them a lift, but Atsumu says no, because he still has to take Rei to get dinner until Suna and Osamu are done and doesn’t want to make Sakusa stay longer than they agreed. Sakusa nods and before leaving says, “I think this little outing should become a regular thing. Minus the kid.”

Rei makes raspberry noises at him.

Atsumu laughs, “Sure, Omi-kun. I’m sure I can pencil ya in.” _More like hell yeah we can hang out whenever and wherever you want. I’m so fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [click here to find me on the twitters](https://twitter.com/tommymangos/)


	5. capitalist christmas agenda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank God for the holidays so he can use Christmas as an excuse to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the christmas chapter. 
> 
> I've been out sick (not covid thank god) but i hope you all are staying safe.
> 
> also I imagine kiyoomi's house to be like the one from parasite, bomb shelter and all lol
> 
> Also if u like telenovelas I highly recommend Teresa which stars Angelique Boyer. Chef's kiss of a dramatic novela
> 
> translations:  
> son para ti - they're for you  
> un viejito - an old man  
> dijo que lo leas depues de ganar - he said to read it after you win

Much to Atsumu’s dismay, Sakusa does not hate puppies. In fact, he has two Shibas, Momo and Tama, which were rescued from an abandoned puppy mill. If Sakusa couldn’t get any hotter, on top of that, he donates to local animal shelters and regularly pays for surgeries and vaccines for animals in need and to control the population of strays. They’re on another one of their “little outings,” at a fancy dog park as he’s watching Sakusa play fetch while wearing disposable gloves and letting his dogs interact with other dogs who are equally excited to be there. Osamu makes fun of Atsumu’s “men who have dogs” taste, but there’s nothing sexier than watching Kiyoomi grimace at his dogs sniffing another dog’s ass while still loving them unconditionally. He takes a dog safe wipe out of his bag and wipes the pups’ noses while asking them if they’re having fun with all their new friends. Adorable.

Atsumu takes Tama’s leash, attaching it to his collar while Sakusa does the same to Momo, signaling to the animals that it is time for them to go home. Over the coming weeks, Sakusa has opened up more to him, letting him go to his actual home now, which is considerably farther from the apartment he had grown accustom to. It’s not a fancy mansion like he had imagined, but it’s two stories with a yard which is more land any average person in Tokyo has. According to the power of the internet, it was designed by a famous architect that allows for the perfect amount of light to come in through the glass doors that lead to a lush, green yard. They leave the dogs outside and Atsumu plops himself down on the large sectional couch while he waits for Sakusa to call his Uber.

He hums to himself, looking at his calendar. Fuck, their tournament starts after Christmas. “Waseda is doin’ really well this year and we go up against ‘em first? Gonna be a hell of a game.”

Sakusa swats Atsumu’s feet off the seat, “Riseki’s serves have gotten a lot better, but it’s nothing your team has not overcome. I think you need to be more careful with Tohoku’s team. They have Gao and Hirugami who have created a solid defense for the past few years.”

“Psh, it’s nothin’ ‘Samu can’t break through,” Atsumu pouts. His heart starts to flutter when he asks his question, “So, ya gonna come watch my games?”

“I usually don’t, but I have made time for them this year. It’s been a while since I could actually sit down and watch a game in person.”

“Wow, don’t I feel special yer comin’ to see me play.” And he really does. He’s never seen Sakusa at an official match. His schedule rarely allows it, but he’s actually coming for it, for him.

“You better win and make it worth my while.” Sakusa’s phone chimes and he grabs the remote for his obscenely large television. “It’s the Green Rockets versus the Adlers. I’m curious to see how well the Adlers are going to play tonight without their strongest blocker.”

This is the around the time Sakusa calls his uber, but Atsumu doesn’t say anything about it. “I’m sure Romero will take care of them. Tobio isn’t gonna let them off easy either. it’ll still be an easy win for them.”

Atsumu is right on one assessment, Tobio murders them while Jackson takes over in place of their captain, who is injured. However, the setter seems hesitant, not sending as many tosses to the team’s ace as he usually does. The camera points to Tobio looking almost uncomfortable when the Brazilian pats his head, which is a first. Despite that, there’s hardly a struggle, especially since bowl cut Goshiki looks like he’s starting to get frustrated with Tobio’s sly dump shots. It’s a quick game, but they both get lost in it, commenting on the interesting line up the Green Rockets chose for this game or the way Sokolov seemed more cautious with his receives that Atsumu doesn’t notice Sakusa is sitting a little closer to him than he usually does. While it’s not like he’s right next to him, he’s tends to sit two couch squares away versus now it’s one and he can smell the fresh scent of his cologne from here. It’s nice change of pace until Sakusa gets up and lets the dogs in and takes his phone out. Atsumu also looks at the time, realizing he should be in his apartment by now, rummaging through the fridge to see what Osamu left him, but instead he’s watching the post-game interviews in high definition. Maybe he’ll actually get to spend the night this time.

From this angle, Atsumu can see Sakusa ordering his uber, making him feel dumb that he thought Sakusa would let him stay over. Atsumu plays a bit with the dogs until the uber is here and Sakusa walks him to the outside gate, waving him off.

\---

There’s a shivering Tobio at the door of his apartment. He stands up when Atsumu approaches him. “Hey Tobio. Sorry, yer here early.” He fumbles with his keys, getting the door open for the younger man. The apartment is dark since Osamu practically lives with Suna, becoming a full-time nanny slash stepbrother (dad, really) to Rei because Suna is apparently on the brink of a major deal with a company in the United States and needs someone there with her. It’s easier for Osamu, seeing as he can actually cook, but Atsumu still steps in to watch her on days when Osamu has early classes and Atsumu has late ones or to pick her up from daycare.

Tobio makes his way in, going straight for the bedroom. “We agreed to meet at 9. I texted you. I just figured you were dead from training.”

Atsumu plays it off like he didn’t forget he invited Tobio over. “I was out with Sakusa and lost track of time.” Atsumu turns on his small space heater in his room as Tobio takes off his shirt, showing off the toned body. “What was up with yer match? Ya looked at Romero like he had the fuckin’ plague.” And that sets Tobio off. Not in a bad way, but in a he really needs to talk about it with someone who isn’t on his team way. Atsumu is happy to listen to some Adler’s drama.

Tobio vents to him about Romero, who came into his hotel room tipsy last month after they won against EJP, professing how strong he’s become as the best V League setter and that his serves were going to surpass his soon. While Tobio thought it was just praise from his senior who he’s admired for so long, it was Romero coming on to him using liquid courage. They fucked because Tobio was under the impression that Romero was separated from his wife due to a mistranslation on his part and Tobio feels guilty because Romero is still married. Atsumu doesn’t blame him, it’s Romero’s problem for cheating. If it wasn’t Tobio, Atsumu bets it would have Sokolov.

Now, Romero basically wants to keep him as a “mistress” of sorts, but Tobio isn’t fond of the idea and has already decided to sign a contract in Italy to get away from this problem. Atsumu wishes he could just get up and leave, but he’s so close to graduating, it would just be a waste of a scholarship. The situation sounds tough, but Atsumu isn’t going to act like he knows what to do and tells Tobio that if he thinks Italy is the best choice, he better prove it by making a name for himself internationally.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on this. I just really like him and wish it was under different circumstances.” Tobio knows his way around Atsumu’s room, taking out a bottle of lube from the beside drawer. The bottle is thrown next to Atsumu as Tobio takes off the rest of his clothes.

“Hey, don’t worry. We all gotta let out some steam. Now how about ya let it out with a good fuckin’?” Unlike Tobio, he’s not going to talk about his unrequited love, but Atsumu is still human and going through a dry spell. Waking up to wet dreams of Sakusa got old fast and he’s not looking to get a venereal disease from some dick on Tinder. But he wants tonight to go a little differently. “Do ya mind if I bottom this time?

Cocking a brow, Tobio gives him an okay. He rarely bottoms for him, much less anyone else, but he wants this.

Tobio climbs on top of him, legs on either side of his thighs so he can unbuckle his belt and pull down his pants just enough to get his cock out. Atsumu lets out a deep sigh when Tobio starts to blow him, slowly swallowing him, until his nose is brushing against body. He puts a hand through Tobio's thick black hair, and wishes it were curler. Sometimes he wonders if Sakusa would even want to have sex with his aversion to physical contact. Then again, he’s a grown man and he has needs. Other times he wonders how often he had sex with Ushijima, who looks like he thinks anything other than missionary is spicing it up.

Reaching for the lube, Atsumu hands him the half empty bottle and the younger man lets his dick drop out of his mouth with a “pop.” Long, well-groomed fingers start to warm it up as Atsumu takes off the rest of his clothes and raises his legs. He lets him push in his index finger when he's ready. There’s a sting to it. It’s been too long since he’s done this, rarely even fingering himself when he’s alone. The sting soon dulls, turning into light pleasure that gradually increases when Tobio adds a second digit and works him open. Shutting his eyes, he moans and replaces the image of Tobio with Sakusa, picturing him doing this with him on his expensive 1000 thread count sheets. His dick twitches at the thought of Sakusa seeing him so exposed and wondering how if he would take his time prepping him or call him a “good boy” for staying so still. But instead he has Tobio, which is good, but not the experience he craves.

He barely registers that Tobio has three fingers in him now as he lightly crooks them against his sweet spot, making him regret not doing this more often. Fuck it’s good. When the sensation disappears all together, Atsumu looks at Tobio who is ready to enter him, but Atsumu stops him. Instead, they switch positions with Atsumu on top, his back towards Tobio as he sits on his cock. The stretch is a foreign sensation at this point, but not unwelcomed as he lets his imagination run wild, pretending it’s Sakusa whose hands are gripping his waist and it’s his dick that he’s bouncing on. Atsumu has no idea how big Sakusa might be, but if his height is any indication, he must be huge. He moans and has to bite his tongue before saying the wrong name.

Fuck does he wish his fantasy was real as his cock leaks more with visions of Sakusa’s composed face completely wrecked from Atsumu riding him. Instead, he’s met with Tobio’s face when he looks back. While he’s equally attractive, it’s not an equivalent substitute. But he continues to ride the younger man until his thighs burn and he feels Tobio’s hot cum inside him. Quickly, he jerks himsel off, spilling on to his abdomen, pretending it’s Sakusa softening inside him.

Tobio falls asleep immediately after. He can’t be mad at him; he just played a match. He opts to take a shower, letting the hot water drench him while he cleans himself off. If only he hadn’t invited Tobio over, he probably wouldn’t be on his bathroom floor, head completely messed up from thinking of the older male during sex. There’s no way he can look at him the next time they meet. Thank God for the holidays so he can use Christmas as an excuse to be alone.

\---

Every year, the twins have celebrated Christmas with their family, but this year it’s not happening. Instead, they decided to pull the money they’ve earned together and booked their parents the honeymoon they never had, a two-week all-inclusive vacation in Hawaii. Their parents don’t ask how they came up with the money, knowing their kids aren’t that dumb to get involved in anything illegal or dangerous. Everyone knows it’s a well-deserved vacation and the boys feel proud they were able to give that to them as a thank you for putting up with their bullshit over the years.

Their grandma has also decided to get out of Hyogo during the holiday season and head to Fukuoka to meet her great grandchildren, a set of twins born to their “cool” cousin (he’s only cool because he bought them beer once in high school). So a trip to Hyogo is out of the question this year, with no real reason to go back if everyone they care about is gone. Osamu is spending the holidays with Suna, obviously, and while Atsumu could join them, he doesn’t want to be the third wheel in their little family. He does however make sure to get Rei a gift, a small necklace with a pink opal heart and a volleyball so she can knock down an expensive vase or two.

Atsumu isn’t really upset about having to spend the holidays alone. Christmas has never really been a big deal in his house after the age of 11 when Santa stopped being real. All they did was exchange a few gifts, watched television specials and movies. It just means more KFC for him this time, plus he’s been meaning to catch up on his shows, not wanting to miss out on Teresa Chavez tricking men into loving her for financial gain. Or at least that was what was supposed to happen.

Instead, he’s at the Sakusa family home in a turtleneck sweater, sitting awkwardly at a Christmas Eve party trying not to make eye contact with Sakusa after cumming so hard to the thought of him while Tobio was balls deep in his ass. Plus it's Christmas and he can't pop a boner here of all places. Christmas, is after all, a family gathering, and Christmas is definitely the “who are you dating? Oh you’re single? Let me get you in touch with my coworker’s kid, they’re amazing,” season. It’s no surprise Sakusa wanted him here, going as far as asking him to spend the night so it they can play up the relationship because Christmas is also Valentine’s Day part 2 and if he didn't come, everyone would have assumed they broke up.

But for a normal family, a “family Christmas party” means immediate family only and maybe a few extended members too because “cool” cousin Haru can always come over in his book. But for the Sakusas’ it’s everyone remotely related to them in _any_ way. So even though Naoki’s mom’s cousin’s nephew’s uncle isn’t actually related to any Sakusa by blood, there he is, hammered giving Atsumu unsolicited advice on why he should invest in bitcoin and work in the fashion industry with his looks (which wow, flattering) like any drunk uncle would. Also, Atsumu failed to take into account it’s been a good two months since he’s seen any of his family. He’s pulling shit out of his head to interact with them without mentioning the elephant in the room which is their dad is dead and this is their first Christmas without him. Atsumu feels a little weird drinking near his ashes, then says fuck it, grabbing a glass of white wine from one of the caterers going around.

Sakusa saves him from the drunk uncle, but they’re pulled in by Keiko who is already a mess, tipsy on imported wine from Italy, “Atsumu, how are you? It’s been so long I was wondering if Kiyoomi had finally come to his senses to find someone worthy of the Sakusa name.” She laughs and taps his shoulder, “Oh don’t look so grouchy dear, I’m only joking. I’ve heard from the grapevine you have a tournament coming up. I do hope you’ll go further than last year.”

The smile he’s forcing hurts when he replies, “I am doing well, thank you. Last year’s loss was an upset, but we are more than prepared this year.”

A waiter brings her another glass of red wine, while Atsumu sips his own glass, deciding alcohol would be necessary if he was going to survive the night. “I’ve heard you have a twin brother who is dating Suna Rintaro. My, you boys certainly have a _type_.” It doesn’t take a genius to imply she’s calling them gold diggers. Which they’re not, at least not really, especially since Osamu and Suna’s relationship has been going so well.

“If by type, you mean tall, with dark hair and a heart of gold, then yes we do seem to have a type. It must be a twin thing.” To up it, he gives a loving look to Sakusa. “Osamu kept his relationship with him very private. And has stepped up to help Rin in any way he can.”

Keiko nods, “A friend said she noticed you two picking up his sister at daycare. That’s so lovely of you two to help out.” She lowers her voice to a whisper, like they aren’t surrounded by a plethora of people. “Between us, I’ve heard that their father is out in Thailand starting up a new money laundering scheme. It’s a good thing Rintaro is making an honest living to support his sister, but poor girl, having to grow up with Rintaro now. I cannot fathom how that is going.”

 _This bitch did not just insult my kind of brother-in-law_. Chiming in, he tries his best not to call her a slew of bad words, “Actually, it’s going extremely well. She’s a very intelligent little girl and is aware of her situation now. Rin has been doing a fantastic job making sure her emotional wellbeing is taken care of and is requesting more time off, so he can have an active presence in the home. He’s following professional recommendations to assure she has a smooth transition into her new life. In fact, Kiyoomi was the one who referred him to someone to help so they could openly discuss the situation. Isn’t that right, darling?” He turns to Sakusa, eyes screaming to come in and agree.

Sakusa doesn’t miss a beat, taking full advantage of wanting make his sister bite her tongue, “Yes, honey, that is true. She is a wonderful child and Rintaro has been making great strides to make sure she feels that she is in a stable home. Unlike when you left for Paris for three weeks without telling anyone and left your kids with the nanny who taught five-year-old Mina how to say, ‘your mother is an asshole’ in German while you were gone.” Taking Atsumu by the arm, he turns them in another direction, “Any who, Keiko, you should really stop drinking, it looks like Mina’s husband has disappeared and she might need some help with the baby. Step up now to actually care for your own children instead of worrying about the wellbeing of others.”

Atsumu chuckles as they head toward a quiet corner of the house. “Your sister sucks,” he says, downing the last of his wine and leaves it on the table, making sure to put it on a coaster.

“I don’t know, I’d be a bitch too if I had to be married to boring ass Naoki. Did you listen to him drone on about drift culture in the 90s?”

“What? No! What the heck, Omi! I would love to hear that! The Iizunas are so cool, have you not seen Tsukasa’s car? I would die for it. In fact, if you ever want to end this and he needs a fake boyfriend, I would be more than happy to comply,” Atsumu jokes, knowing he never wants this to end.

“I don’t think your knowledge on Initial D would help you in that conversation,” Sakusa gives him a small smile as Atsumu laughs. “I don’t think you would do well with Tsukasa, he snores in his sleep and he would rather marry his cars than invest in any relationship, fake or not. Besides, I’m not willing to let you go that easily.”

Atsumu’s heart skips a beat. “Aw, Omi! You do like me! Now let me take that sweet Porsche for a drive.”

“Get a license first, then we’ll talk.”

\---

Sakusa’s mother approaches them while they’re sitting in the corner, talking with Ai, who has been largely ignored for the night as she’s constantly running back and forth from the bathroom. Atsumu can’t imagine what morning sickness is like, but he thinks it’s like a constant shitty hangover while a parasite absorbs your insides. Atsumu and Ai immediately stand up, both giving her a deep bow. Hanako gives Ai a warm smile and a glass of water, offering to let he sleep in a guest room, which Ai takes full advantage of.

The large chair is taken by Hanako, while Sakusa and Atsumu sit across from her, absorbing the warmth from the fireplace nearby. No one has seen Hanako all night, despite this being her home. It’s uncommon, according to Sakusa because she loves to mingle. Eventually she speaks up, “My, this home is certainly too large for me now that Shigeru isn’t here. Kiyoomi, would you be willing to work on selling it for me? Kyoji is much too busy and has offered to let me live with him to help Ai when the baby is born.”

There’s a look of surprise on Sakusa’s face as his mother continues, “I know you all love this home, but it’s time for someone else to raise a family here. You all have grown up and your father asked me to sell it before he passed. It’s an agreement we made long before this, he just happened to pass first.”

Sakusa nods, “I understand mother, but are you sure?”

There’s a sad smile on her face, “I am sure. Without him, there’s really no reason to stay. All our memories are attached to this home and it’s better to leave it as a happy place than to wallow in it every day.” She looks over at Atsumu, “My dear, I’m working on a final book before I retire. Would you like to take a look?”

There’s no way he can admit he’s never actually read any of her books besides the free poems he found online and enthusiastically nods. “I would love to!”

Together, the three of them make their way to Hanako’s study where she takes out a draft manuscript from her desk. It’s thick, full of copies of handwritten poems she’s must have spent a lifetime of writing. “It’s unreleased poems about Shigeru that I’ve held on to over the years. A love story really. I’m not sure if Kiyoomi has shared any of this with you, but we had an arranged marriage.”

“No, I had no idea.”

“Ah, well I guess I’ll tell you, after all, you are a part of our lives now and I’m quite fond of how Kiyoomi speaks of you.” There’s a visible blush on his face. Sakusa talk about him to his mom? In a way to make her like him? He must be doing it to make this all believable. He decides to put his full attention on her, ignoring his the almost dangerous speed that his heart is going at. “Only the kids know this, but my family was in debt before I was married. My father had gambled all of our money away. All we really had was our name as we pretended like nothing was wrong. Shigeru’s family was new money, and they needed a powerful name to back them to secure more funding. So I met him one day and in a month we were married and I was pregnant. Really, our families took advantage of one another." There's a look of longing while she stares into a family photo on her desk, "Maybe it was luck of the draw, but after a few years, I truly grew to love him. These poems dive into how that love grew out of a horrible situation.”

Her words resonate with Atsumu as Sakusa stays silent, fiddling with a loose piece of thread on the couch. Kiyoomi was born out of love, while his siblings were not. Maybe that explains why they treat him the way they do or their shitty attitudes. But just like Sakusa and Atsumu, they had an arrangement for their own benefit and learned to love each other. It shines a glimmer of hope for him now. Atsumu hands the manuscript back. “I can’t wait to read it.”

And he really can’t.

\---

Komori is clearly drunk off his ass doing a bad karaoke rendition of “All I Want for Christmas is You,” as Tsukasa spurs him on. There are children still running around, hyped up on all the sugar surrounding them while the adults continue to drink the night away. It’s already past midnight, but the party is still going strong. He and Sakusa decide it’s not worth staying up for, opting out to go to his room on the opposite end of the home where they can’t even hear the music anymore. Trust Sakusa to have a king-sized bed in his childhood room that’s surrounded by volleyball posters of past players from all over the world. There are tournament trophies on his shelves, including one for best spiker. Sakusa is pulling clothing from a bedside dresser so he can shower as Atsumu awkwardly stands there, not knowing what to do.

“Uh, so are ya going to show me to my room?” He asks, nervous because he doesn’t want to have to sleep on the cold, hardwood floor of this room.

Sakusa looks at him confused, “You’re sleeping in here. All the rooms will be taken by my family. If anything, my family will think it’s a problem if you sleep anywhere other than with me.”

“Am I sleeping on the floor?”

“No, on the bed, Atsumu. As long as you shower, I am comfortable sharing the bed with you.” Sakusa pulls out an extra set of pajamas and underwear. “Look, my mother even prepared Christmas pajamas for you.”

Atsumu blushes and takes the clothing from him, amazed that his mother had thought about him despite barely knowing him. They really think he's part of the family now. Sakusa heads into the attached bathroom first while Atsumu takes his time looking at everything in this room. It’s honestly pretty empty aside from what he’s already seen. Everything is in order, color coordinated and organized by size. His room is white, and his sheets are black. There’s a bookshelf with various titles that Atsumu has never heard of as he starts to glance at some of them. One that catches his eye is an older one. It’s oddly familiar and he can’t quite remember where he saw it before realizing it’s the book Sakusa was supposed to give his father. There’s a bookmark in it, showing Sakusa must be reading it when he’s here. While he can’t really read in English, it’s not a book that would get him interested in anything. Gently, he places it back.

After an hour, the older man finally comes out and let’s Atsumu take a hot shower so he can wash away the night, playing back the awful conversations he’s had and heard. The hot water is nice on his skin as he starts smelling the various body washes around him, choosing a fresh, citrus one to lather onto himself. Its one of his favorites when he gets a whiff of it on Sakusa, even though he rarely uses it. His hands trail down his body and he has to force his dirty thoughts away because they're sleeping in the same bed tonight and he doesn't want to ruin it with his dick springing to life. He takes his time to make sure he does a thorough job, getting every inch of dirt out of his nails, clearing out his ears and leaving in the conditioner for the recommended amount of time. He dries off and puts on the pajamas. They feel soft against his skin with little Santa Clauses and reindeer scattered around the red fabric. The large mirror shows him how vulnerable he feels tonight, getting to sleep with someone he’s been pinning after for months now.

Quietly, he opens the door, not knowing if Sakusa is asleep. The small bedside lamp illuminates his side of the bed while he reads the book Atsumu had put back moments ago. He shuffles to the other side of the bed, removing the duvet so he can get comfortable. He decides to bother Sakusa a bit, “So do ya like that book?”

Sakusa reaches for his bookmark and looks at him, “I spent $5000 on it, if my dad can’t read it, then I’m going to get my money’s worth out of it.”

“Is it good?”

“It’s decent. I’ve never been a fan of what English speakers deem as literary classics though.”

"Yeah. I heard F. Scott Fitzgerald plagerized most of his work from his wife. Doesn't deserve all the credit academia gives him." They continue to talk a bit and while Atsumu can only add tid bits of information, he loves getting to hear Sakusa go on about his favorite types of literature.

Atsumu isn’t sure when he falls asleep, but he feels so comfortable in this moment.

\---

The sounds of kids running through the hall and opening the bedroom door wakes him up. He groans and doesn’t sense any warmth near him. What he does feel are two kids jumping on the bed screaming “wake up uncle Atsumu! It’s Christmas!” They pull the comforter off of him and tug at his arms to get him up. He’s fully awake and looks at the kids, not really recognizing them. _Did I even meet these kids?_

He feels like a dick not recognizing them, but then again, Sakusa has a huge family. He looks at the doorway and sees Komori, also dressed in Christmas pajamas, laughing, calling them back. “C’mon kids, let him breathe a bit and go help with breakfast.” The kids whine but let him go to jump off the bed and run out the room. “Sorry, those are my nephews. It’s tradition that we all stay at someone’s house and the kids make breakfast. Well, I guess we’re not kids anymore, but still. C’mon, Kiyoomi is already up.”

Confused is an understatement to how he feels right now. He thought yesterday was the end of it because no one does anything on Christmas Day, at least not that he’s heard of. Atsumu stretches, taking the slippers next the bed to follow Komori out to the large kitchen. The kitchen is taken up by Sakusa and his siblings alongside what he assumes are Komori’s sisters because of the eyebrows. There’s a few more unfamiliar faces he didn’t get the luxury of meeting, but everyone is busy doing something, whether it’s chopping, mixing ingredients, or flipping pancakes.

“Motoya, you’re finally awake! Get your ass over here and chop the onions! You’re the only one who doesn’t cry cutting them!” His sister yells, pointing a knife at him.

“That’s because I’ve spent a lifetime of crying that the onions don’t make me sad,” Komori laughs and Atsumu seriously hopes that’s a joke.

Sakusa looks up from measuring flour and Atsumu can’t help but laugh at the amount of powder he has on his face. A cute pout forms on Sakusa’s face. “Don’t laugh at me and come help mix the cake batter.”

Atsumu follows Sakusa’s precise instructions to assure he doesn’t mix anything he shouldn’t. While he’s not the best at these things like Osamu, he is functional in the kitchen. “So you guys keep the party going?”

“Motoya’s family spent a lot of time in the United States and they basically started all of this. We all thought it was fun as kids and it just stuck.” A little girl tugs on Sakusa’s sleeve and he hands her a plate of fruit.

Smaller kids come in by groups to take finished dishes to the dining room and are given directions how to set the table. By the time they’re able to put the cake in the oven, breakfast is ready and Sakusa leads him to a large dining room table to sit down next to Komori. There’s chatter all around as everyone is adding food to their plates while discussing things Atsumu isn’t too knowledgeable on. There’s no arguing, snide comments, or drama, it’s just nice. After breakfast, the children pick up the dishes to scrape leftovers and wash them while the adults go to sit down near the Christmas tree. While the children are busy, they all help set gifts under the tree that were hidden behind a locked closet. After about 20 minutes the kids come to them screaming and looking for what Santa had brought them this year.

Atsumu was told he didn’t have to get anything for anyone, considering he barely knows anyone. But when the kids start pulling gifts from under the tree, they hand him a fairly large sized one. He reads the label’s nice cursive and sees it’s from Sakusa. “Omi, we said we wouldn’t get each other gifts!” He lies, because no such discussion happened.

Sakusa motions for him to open it. He almost feels bad ruining such nice paper, but sloppily tears through it with the help of one of Sakusa’s nephews and opens the box. Inside is a dark blue bedsheet set, complete with Calvin Klein pillows and accent pieces. On the side of the box is a card. It’s a delivery notice for yesterday. He’s beyond confused, but it has his address on it. “Omi what did you do? These aren’t even the right size sheets.”

There’s a mischievous grin that actually startles him. “I may or may not have coordinated with your brother to get rid of your old bed and have a new bed set delivered.” Atsumu openly gawks, feeling somewhat betrayed by his own twin. “Honestly, Atsumu, you deserve to sleep on something that doesn’t feel like a pile of rocks.” Sakusa ruffles his hair, smiling down at him, even though he’s only ever slept on Atsumu’s bed once, he can’t believe he remembered what his bed was like.

“Ouch, way to roast me in front of the entire Sakusa clan.” He fakes being upset and excuses himself to the bathroom. But he doesn’t actually head for the bathroom, he goes back to Sakusa’s room to control the tears that are threatening to spill any moment. No one outside his family has ever given him anything. It’s heartwarming to know Sakusa thought of him, even when he had no reason to get him anything when he’s already done so much for him. Not only that, but he’s been using the same bed he took with him from Hyogo that he used to sleep on at his grandmother’s house before she decided to replace them. It's incredibly thoughtful and Sakusa doesn't even know why, he just did it. He slaps his face before reaching down into his duffle bag and takes out a small, wrapped gift. While it’s not the same as getting a completely new bed set, two can play at this game.

He takes his place next to Sakusa again and hands the small present to him. “Ya beat me at my own game, Omi.”

"Atsumu, you didn't have to get me anything," he protests but Atsumu shuts him up.

"Don't worry about it and just open it!"

Sakusa is more delicate unwrapping his gift. He pulls it out, eyes widening at its contents. It’s a package of umeboshi, the good kind according to his grandmother, who he had asked to mail them, going so far to pay for express shipping. Sheepishly, Atsumu rubs the back of his head, “My grandma’s friend makes these from her own trees. She even has a small shop in Wakayama. She gets a lot of customers from all over! I never really knew why since I don’t like ‘em, but I know ya have a lot of these snacks at home and would probably be able to understand why.”

Sakusa looks over at him in disbelief. _Oh no, he hates them doesn’t he_ , _Atsumu, you dumbass_.

Sakusa brakes his negative train of thoughts and tells him, “I know this brand. My dad would buy these while on business trips over there and we would share them when he got home. I was never able to buy them because she doesn’t have a website so I would have to wait for my dad to bring them.” Atsumu didn’t expect his gift to have such an impact, but a stray tear is spilling out of Sakusa's eye that he wipes with his bare hand, hoping he doesn’t mind the skin-to-skin contact. Unlike Atsumu, he composes himself quickly and pulls him in for a hug. It’s warm. Sakusa’s signature scent of fresh linen invades his senses and he can’t get enough that he wants to pull him back in when the hug is over. “I love it. Thank you.”

“Yer welcome.” Atsumu doesn’t give two shit’s his accent is coming out because his gift had just as much of an impact on him as it did on Sakusa.

\---

They spend the rest of the day with his family. He helps the little ones decorate the strawberry cakes they made, leaving one for the Sakusa siblings to take care of. Assholes or not, they are pretty amazing when it comes to making the cake look pretty. The Komori trio is making the soup for dinner while the rest of the family makes some side dishes.

Atsumu didn’t expect Christmas to go so smoothly, but he’s glad he was here. Hanako hugs him goodbye when they pack their stuff into Sakusa’s car and invites him to spend New Year’s with them. Sakusa answers for him, “I’m sure he’ll be here mother.” Oh hell, yes he will.

They chat about his tournament, what teams they’re hoping to see in the finals, who is probably going to suck and what underdogs they expect to see. Before exiting the car, gifts in tow, he asks, “Yer still coming right?”

Sakusa nods, “I’ll be there. Thank you for coming, Atsumu. I had a good time for once.”

"Me too."

Atsumu is absolutely beaming when he gets to his apartment and crash lands on his new bed set. And holy mother of comfort is it amazing that he almost misses Osamu who comes in a minute later and throws some presents at him. “Merry Christmas, dork. Rei says thank you for the gifts.”

“Merry Christmas loser, yer gift is on my desk.” Atsumu sees three gifts on his bed when he only expected one. “Woah, Sunarin and Rei got me presents.”

He opens up Osamu’s first and sees it’s the nice cologne he smelled once in a department store then he laughs because he got Osamu the same thing. Twin senses. Rei’s gift is smaller. It’s a handmade bracelet with his name in English that fits just right because it’s more than likely she used Osamu’s wrist size to make it. He makes a mental note to send Suna a message to thank her.

Last is Rin's gift and he’s pretty confused because he didn’t expect anything from the man either.

“Rin said it’s a token of his appreciation for not letting Rei die and getting Sakusa to recommend him Rei's therapist. He really does appreciate how much ya help him, ya know.”

“Aw, ain’t that sweet.” He opens up it up and pulls out a large dildo. “Just kidding.” There’s a note inside.

**I saw Sakusa’s dick inside the locker rooms in high school. You’re gonna need this.**

**-Suna Rintaro**

_Very nice._

\---

Waseda fucking sucks this year, no not literally, but because it’s probably the hardest first game the team has ever played. Riseki’s serves are nothing like they were in high school and they have a new lineup of excessively tall blockers. During a time out, Atsumu almost sprays water on to the floor, Osamu barely saving him from embarrassment by flipping it over. He scans the stands on their section, looking to see if he can spot Sakusa at all. He doesn’t, but he does get a glance at Rei, Suna, Iizuna and Komori with an empty seat next to the latter. They can hear Rei’s yells of “ _dale! dale!_ ” while Iizuna waves as Komori throws a finger gun at him. Sakusa is nowhere to be found.

A nasty tightness forms in his chest, and he takes a deep breath because this man is a doctor and emergencies happen. For all he knows, he’s doing brain surgery on a child who will eventually grow up to be a mass murderer due to his childhood traumas of thinking he was the one going through experiments while it was really his twin sister. Osamu kicks him in the ass, knowing he’s overthinking.

“Ya spent all night watching Monster again, didn’t ya?”

“…no.”

The whistle blows and Atsumu puts himself in to his serving headspace, silencing the crowd after taking a few steps back. Out of all his former teammates, there’s no way he’s letting Riseki outshine him in serving. One after the other, he scores five consecutive points with the help of his team before they block out one of his spikers. It’s a satisfying feeling, but they’re still only in the second game with one loss. They start to get into a rhythm by the time they reach 20 points and go on to win the second set.

The third set is straight hell that they take a time out when Waseda reaches 10 points before them. While the assistant coach wants to scream at them, their coach calmly tells them to get their heads out of their asses and focus on breaking their receivers again. It’s nothing they don’t know and Atsumu almost tunes it out, looking at the stands again. Still no Sakusa. Whatever. He still needs to get this shit done so he can go home a take a fucking extended nap before their next game tomorrow. Waseda is not winning this shit. Not today. The twins decide to pull out an experimental quick they’ve been working on and shut them down. One after the other, Atsumu plays with his spikers, orchestrating a new tune on the court, finally letting them pull ahead and fucking win. When they do, he collapses into Osamu, almost not making it to thank the other team.

When they go thank their supporters, Rei yells in delight. They meet them on the way to the locker room. Rei is carrying flowers, chrysanthemums, Hyogo’s flower, which Atsumu assumes are for Osamu, but instead she rushes up and gives them to him.

“ _Son para ti!_ Omi-kun sent them and told Rin that he couldn’t come because _un viejito_ had almost died at work or somethin’!” Rei goes up to hug Osamu, who picks her up as she continues to cheerfully speak, “There’s a card too _y me dijo que lo leas después de ganar_.”

Atsumu has no idea what she just said, but takes the card out of the beautiful white flowers.

**Congrats on winning.**

**-SK**

Blinking, he feels dumbfounded. Sakusa actually sent him flowers. Flowers from Hyogo. He doesn’t know whether to cry or scream in with joy.

Instead he takes out his phone and texts him.

**To Sakusa**

**But what if I had lost?**

It doesn’t take long for him to get a response.

**To Atsumu**

**You weren’t going to.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> say hi to me on twitter lol


	6. not very cash money of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ya already fucked me in this game. I think I’m good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol hi. in december a cold kicked my ass and last month i got covid, which thankfully, was not bad for me. but now i feel good to update this.
> 
> also, who tf am i that i had someone beta this? new year, new me lmao  
> I want to give a huge thank you to mars! she's an amazing beta and was super helpful with this chapter!  
> You can find her on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_marssram/) and [ao3!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marssram/pseuds/marssram)

Day 2 of the tournament is the worst because now they’re against Kyushu University’s team. They have Mami and Unnan, who might be even more competitive than the Miya twins. The constant arguing on both sides of the court is enough to distract other games going on around them. It can’t be helped, Atsumu is _sure_ Tohoku lost a point because Gao was busy laughing at Osamu calling him a “lame-ass loser.” They barely win when Akagi saves the ball with his foot, keeping the ball alive so Gin can spike it in between their blockers. 

It’s a satisfying win, and it’s even more satisfying because Sakusa is there watching today. Even better, after he comes out of the locker room, he is greeted by Sakusa holding a tired Rei’s hand with a grimace on his face. Atsumu laughs his ass off when Osamu takes her and douses his hands in sanitizer. The act is exceedingly thorough, Atsumu thinks he may rub them raw. Even if Sakusa likes the kid, he still thinks they’re gross. 

“Where’s Suna?” Atsumu asks, letting Rei onto his back to carry her. It’s barely 4PM, but it’s time for a nap. Kids don’t know how lucky they are.

“He had to take a call in the middle of the second game. He went home to send over some files because his assistant messed up the data, I guess. Anyway he asked me to take you guys back to his place.” 

Osamu’s stomach rumbles loudly. “If that’s the case, can we head to the supermarket? I need to get some stuff for dinner. Are ya gonna eat with us, Sakusa?” 

“Depends, what are you making?”

“Curry.”

“Then sure.” 

Rei falls asleep in the car, passed out in the booster seat Suna made sure to give Sakusa before he left. Sakusa and Atsumu stay in the car with her while Osamu steps into the store to grab ingredients for curry. Her sweet face is full of innocence, no one would think she’s actually a sass-master. 

Atsumu muses out loud, “Do ya ever think of having kids? Like adopting one or doing that IVF thing?”

There’s a new disgusted look on Sakusa’s face that shifts to one of curiosity after a minute. “I never thought I would want a child, to be honest. Wakatoshi was always adamant about having one. One of the biggest reasons we broke up, actually. He told me he couldn’t be with someone who didn’t see a future that included a family. Now, I’m not so sure. I don’t know if I could handle all the vomit, diaper changes or drool. Maybe if I were to adopt an older child, like Rei, I’d be okay with it.”

This is the first time that Sakusa has ever gone in any depth about his past relationship. It’s refreshing to hear more about him, maybe he thinks of him as a friend now. 

“I didn’t think Ushiwaka would want kids. Doesn’t strike me as the fatherly type.”

Sakusa snorts, “You’d be surprised. He’s also a decent botanist.” 

“Ya don’t say?”

Osamu comes back, hands full of shopping bags. “We’re eatin’ good tonight, boys!”

When they get to the penthouse, Sakusa helps carry in the bags, toting an extra pink one with him, while Atsumu puts Rei to bed. Atsumu shuts the door behind him so she isn’t awakened by Suna firing his assistant with a slew of curses. 

Going through both their duffle bags, he takes out their uniforms to shove them in the wash for tomorrow. Above the washer, he finds Osamu’s clothing mixed in with Suna’s. He won’t be surprised if after graduation they’re officially living together or even married in some country where it’s legal. While Suna is still helping Osamu with his bills, the way they look at each other is with love, not just lust. It’s tooth achingly disgusting and cute.

He heads back into the kitchen to help with dinner. Together, his brother and Sakusa are cutting ingredients, laughing. “And then he grounded himself and would come out of our room yellin’ ‘I’m gonna be grounded forever.’ Ma was so mad, she let him stay grounded and didn’t say anythin’.” 

Suna comes out and looks as tired as his sister was. “Are you telling the story about how Atsumu broke your grandma’s lamp or the time he accidentally stole your neighbor’s cat?”

“No, but those are next.”

“I hope you cut off a finger, ‘Samu. I can and will tell Suna about the time when you shoved 30 onigiris in your mouth and threw up in dad’s shoe.”

The twins start to fight, shouting secrets left and right at each other while Suna and Sakusa just stare, amused. It’s a pleasant night, minus all the private stories told that he would have liked to keep hidden from Sakusa. 

The laughter is interrupted by Rei’s cries for her mother and Suna bolts to her room. The atmosphere of the room has changed, the twins exchanging a glance. Osamu can practically read his mind and answers his unasked question, “It doesn’t happen a lot, but Rin said they’re working on it in therapy. The holiday season is harder because that’s the only time they were all together.” Osamu turns off the stove and begins to plate the food while Sakusa brings side dishes to the table. 

A door in the hall opens and Suna comes in holding his sister who is wiping her eyes, tiny sniffles filling the silent room. “Rei, honey, would you like curry with an egg?” Osamu asks, Rei stays silent as Osamu prepares her plate.

Suna answers for her, “Add an egg, ‘Samu. She likes it,” he moves her bangs out of her face, eyes still red. “Do you want some water?” her brother asks, but she still stays quiet. 

It’s Sakusa who gets her to talk. “Rei, I brought you a late Christmas gift, would you like it?”

Her sad eyes brighten up. “Yes, please.” 

Sakusa takes the pink gift bag he had on the kitchen counter and hands it to the small child when Suna lets her down. Tissue paper is thrown to the floor, while Sakusa is bent down to pick it up, watching her, almost nervous. She pulls out a small, EJP varsity jacket first, handing it over to her brother before she pulls out a Hello Kitty doll, in a shark onesie, plushie. “Wow! I love it!” She runs up to hug him, which, what is Sakusa gonna do, _push a child?_ When she pulls away, he shudders and excuses himself to the restroom. 

Suna looks at the small jacket, “I didn’t think he would remember my favorite team.” 

“Whaddaya mean?” Atsumu asks, simultaneously pretending to be eaten alive by Rei’s toy.

Still holding the jacket, he scans it over. “We’ve been chatting more frequently since I contacted him after you took her to the aquarium. I brought it up, offhandedly, when we were talking about an upcoming match. I didn’t think he would remember it, much less get Rei anything.” 

“Omi-kun is a good listener. He pays attention to little things ya don’t really think about,” Atsumu smiles, and gets up when Osamu is done putting the last plate on the table.

There’s a cat shaped onigiri for Rei by her small, pink plate and they all sit down. Together, they enjoy dinner as the twins roast each other. He doesn’t feel jealous at the way Suna is looking at Osamu or how Osamu blushes at the pleased noise Suna makes while eating his food. No, not at all, not when Sakusa pays more attention to the surrounding conversation than him.

\---

Sakusa drops Atsumu off after dinner. The amount of googly eyes made at the table made him want to upchuck his food. He doesn’t want to sleep with the thought of them fucking in the room next door, no matter how thick the walls are. But it’s lonely at home now. Maybe he should get a cat or something. 

Atsumu is no stranger to being alone, having spent most of his life having few friends outside of his brother. It’s never really bothered him, but having people like Kuroo, Bokuto and Gin in his life made it a lot more fun. For all his week-long crushes, he never did anything to show them he was interested because at some point, he just knew they would find a reason not to like him. It's numbing to think he’s unwanted by the people he actually would like to be with. The reality is, he has no idea how to start a relationship, always the one getting the confessions, but never actually confessing.

He was too focused on volleyball to pay adequate attention to anyone. It was hard to even find a partner that liked him for more than his appearance and wanted to deal with his shit attitude. Of the confessions he actually said yes to, from Haru, the shy band conductor, to Melanie, the half British girl who didn’t put up with his shit and kept him somewhat levelheaded, he’s never had a relationship last more than 6 months. The break ups never really hurt, in fact he expected them. Because it was expected they’d find faults in him too.

Through the years, he’s witnessed examples of relationships that make him want the one thing he hasn’t been successful with, feeling loved by another person. Bokuto has been with Akaashi since high school and Bokuto can never shut up about him. While it doesn’t look like Kuroo’s boyfriend, Kenma, really cares, he’s always watching Kuroo’s condition, keeping him from pulling all nighters and actually eating a real meal that isn’t in liquid form.

He craves something like that. But instead, all he has is a paid “relationship” and a huge dildo.

Sighing, Atsumu opens his bedside drawer and takes out the toy. It’s still in the box, untouched until right now. Opening the box, he pulls out the dildo, taking it to the bathroom sink to wash it off. As he lathers the toy with warm water and antibacterial soap, he remembers that this is supposed to be Sakusa’s size. Atsumu doesn’t want to know why Suna still remembers how big the man is. It’s at least 8 inches and he’s appalled by the girth. If this is really Sakusa’s size, he really is the man of his dreams.

It’s probably not the best idea to use a huge dildo the day before his next game, but fuck it, he needs to feel something right now. 

Before he can start anything, he remembers the texts V. League recruiters sent him early that day. He’s been too busy to even properly respond, trying to show his best for more teams. The division one offers have been coming in since his third year in high school. It’s no surprise when Volleyball Monthly lists him as the most sought out setter in Japan. The Adlers, Falcons, Hornets and Jackals have made him offers, upping their bids when they found out what lucrative deals other teams want to give him. 

Well, lucrative is a strong word, he’d definitely make more money being an accountant, but he doesn’t want that for his life. He can make a decent living and if he does well, he can barter his way into a better wage if international teams scout him too while he’s in the V. League. He’s tempted to ask Sakusa if he can get a lawyer to look at the contracts within the next month.

Things seem to be going well with Sakusa, maybe not as well as things are going with Osamu and Suna, but they’re getting closer than he ever thought possible. With the Adler’s based in Tokyo, maybe he can actually pursue a real relationship. Or he can pull a Tobio and run away to another side of the country if he gets rejected. Shaking his head, he shuts off his phone.

Back in his room, he strips down to nothing and begins to fuck himself with toy, wishing Sakusa was holding him instead of just imagining it.

\---

They make it to the finals alongside Tohoku University. Their blockers are tall and hard to break through. Osamu is clearly frustrated. Being the asshole that Atsumu is, midgame, he threatens his brother by saying he’s going to eat every single pudding cup he has in Suna’s fridge and not replace them. It gets him going again, but the rest of the spikers aren’t as easy to manipulate, especially when Hirugami starts trash talking. He’s never met anyone with a more punchable face and if there weren’t kids in the audience, he’d probably flip him off. 

“Man, fuck this guy,” Atsumu raises his voice just enough that the cameras can’t catch it, but the other players can. 

Hirugami winks, “Take me to dinner after this and maybe you can.”

Now he really wants to punch him for his lack of originality. Before he can bark back an insult, Osamu responds for him.

“Sorry, we have standards.” 

Osamu walks back to serve again, looking enraged. Tohoku is fucked.

\---

They lose the tournament by two points. Second place is just first loser in his book and he’s angry at himself for not pushing further. They line up and Atsumu can’t hide that shaking Hirugami’s hand makes him feel disgusted. 

The taller man smirks at him, “So, do you wanna fuck me or not?”

Atsumu glares and retorts, “Ya already fucked me in this game. I think I’m good.” If he already wasn’t in a bad mood, the asshole’s smug face makes it ten times worse. Fuck that guy.

Sakusa is outside waiting with the rest of the group, holding a gift bag. He barely makes out his name on the tag. It makes him irrationally angry. Why would he give him anything after losing? He should have thrown it out. He doesn’t deserve shit after that humiliating loss when everyone expected him to lead their team to victory. Even Sakusa had the same expectation. He was supposed to make this worth his while and failed. Sakusa must feel like he wasted his money on a team that can’t even win.

Instead of greeting everyone else and thanking them for coming, he stares at the gift bag in Sakusa’s hand. “Omi, stop buying me shit. I don’t want whatever it is. Toss it, I don’t fuckin’ need yer pity.” He says, ignoring the disappointed look Komori is giving him. 

Sakusa remains neutral, “Fine.”

Atsumu walks past them and heads for the locker rooms to shower. It’s been so long since he’s ever felt this frustrated after losing a match. The team doesn’t talk to him, knowing he’ll give them shit for not hitting enough of his sets. Osamu comes in before his shower, while Atsumu has his head in his hands, his scalp sore from the grip of his hands.

Osamu stands before him, hands on his hip, angry. “Hey, jackass. What you did was fuckin’ unnecessary. Go say sorry to Omi.”

“Fuck off, ‘Samu. Losers don’t get prizes.” The hard slap on the back of his head hurts and he retaliates by tackling Osamu. “Why should I say sorry? He spent his money on me, that’s his fault! I couldn’t even win!”

Osamu lands a punch on his face, knocking him back and gets on top of him, lifting him up by his jersey. “Because he fuckin’ cares about you, idiot! People can get you shit to celebrate yer accomplishments. Who gives a fuck if we lost! Ya act like ya don’t have every V. League team ridin’ yer dick! Ya have more chances to win, but only one chance to say, ‘sorry, Omi-kun, I’m a shit head sore loser.’ Fuckin’ go shower and apologize!” Osamu releases him and stands up at the same time as he falls on his back.

Fuck, does he hate when his twin is right. Getting up, he takes his citrus body wash, one he loves so much that he actually bought for himself, and heads for the shower. He scrubs his body hard, letting hot water burn his skin red. He stays longer than he should, but knows he needs to go to the awards ceremony where they’ll accept second place and receive miscellaneous awards. Slipping into his tracksuit, he makes his way back onto the court and scans the crowd. Sakusa is gone. He feels guilt tug at his stomach. 

When he gets the award for MVP and Best Setter, he’s sure the photos that were taken of him will have him looking like shit. He still bows, forcing a smile and waits for the whole thing to be over. Without Sakusa there, he has no reason to see everyone for a second time. He heads out with the team to go get dinner like they planned and drinks the night away. 

\---

The club his team ended up at is crowded with volleyball players. He lost Osamu an hour ago, assuming he went to Suna’s after dinner. People are buying him drinks left and right, trying to flirt with him, but he slips away from them once he has a beer in his hands. It’s been years since he’s ever paid for a drink at the club. No one suspects him to be a lightweight, but he barely drinks. Damn it all if he lets alcoholic, liquid calories fuck up the body he’s worked so hard to maintain. Tonight, though, he’s had more than he should have. He periodically checks his phone and Sakusa hasn’t messaged him at all. Instead, all he sees is his last message.

**To: Sakusa**

**Hey, I’m sorry about how I reacted. I hope you’re not mad at me.**

Walking while staring at your phone isn’t necessarily the best practice at the club. He bumps into a familiar figure in a purple and black tracksuit. Hirugami looks down at him with a nauseating smirk on his face.

“So, have you lowered your standards enough to at least dance with me?”

Glancing back at his messages with no reply in sight, he allows himself to look at Hirugami. 

“Sure. Why not.”

The drunken bliss is getting to him as he grinds against Hirugami, wrapping his arms around his waist, breathing in his scent. It’s too strong, too woodsy. It’s wrong. It’s not the fresh cologne he craves. The body against his is too bulky, two centimeters too short.

The bliss is still taking over, so he doesn’t reject Hirugami when he kisses him. Their kiss tastes like too much sake and beer as he lets his tongue invade his mouth. He can feel the other man’s jeans slowly starting to tent against his thigh. He ruts against him in the middle of the dance floor, not giving two shits who sees. 

It feels wrong, so fucking wrong. The building feels like it’s enclosing on him. Hirugami’s mouth tastes like shit now, tongue slimy, like a slug, trying to slide down his throat. People are watching him in this shameful act with a man who just crushed him not even three hours ago. His heart is racing, embarrassment, rearing its ugly head. His palms feel sweaty and the need to barf is in the back of his throat, threatening to spill over. He needs air. He needs to get out before he’s trapped in this place that smells like shitty beer and sweaty bodies. 

He pushes the other man back and sprints out of the club. He must look like a crazy man to the people watching him as he frantically heads to the alleyway.

There are people making out, smoking, and crying. He leans against the wall and pulls out his phone. He has 5% battery left and decides to make a call. It takes three rings before the person on the other line picks up. Panicking that his phone will die, he makes it quick, “Omi, please come get me. Please, I really need to get out of here.”

“Send me your location.” Sakusa hangs up and Atsumu uses the last of his battery to do so. 

He hides in the alleyway, not wanting Hirugami to see him, in fear of questioning, though he takes quick peaks to see if Sakusa’s car has arrived. It only takes 15 minutes before a white Audi is out front. Atsumu comes out of the alleyway, not looking back, and sees Sakusa roll down his window. He gets in and lets out a breath. 

The tears suddenly start spilling when Sakusa drives, not saying a word to him until arrive at his house. He turns off the car and gets out. The movement, plus the crying, makes it hard to see or react when the passenger door is opened, and he’s being pulled out by Sakusa. 

In an effort to stabilize himself, he leans against the car’s hood, propping himself with both arms to make the world stop spinning. But Sakusa removes him from the hood, picking him up in bridal style. Atsumu feels bad when he basically death grips his shoulders and hides his face in his shirt as he lets himself be carried inside and up the stairs to a bedroom. Sakusa places him inside the in-suite bathroom on the toilet while Atsumu leans against the tank so he won’t tilt forward and crack his skull open on the tile. 

“Are you able to take a bath by yourself?” He hears Sakusa, who is standing by an insanely large bathtub. 

Dumbly, Atsumu nods. He can hear the sound of running water and footsteps heading to the bedroom. Is it the smartest idea for him to take a bath drunk? No. But does he feel stable enough to do so? Kind of. 

The spinning has stopped a bit and when he focuses on a task, it’s able to stay that way. But the need to vomit is present and he’s trying to hold it in, not saying a word for fear that he’ll puke mid-sentence. Sakusa comes back and places clothing on the bathroom counter before turning off the water. 

“It’s warm. Yell if you need anything.” Sakusa turns on the vents and leaves, shutting the door behind him. That’s when Atsumu bolts to his knees and opens the toilet lid to empty his guts into a toilet bowl that probably costs more than his tuition. 

It takes a good ten minutes before he’s done barfing up dinner and all the beer he’s had. When nothing but a dry heave comes out, he flushes the day away. Instantly, he feels ten times less shitty. Still shitty, but he can now take a bath with minimal risk. Faintly, he can hear Sakusa yell that there’s an unopened Costco pack of toothbrushes under the sink. 

He lets the warm water consume him. All the bathrooms Sakusa has are modern enough to have a control pad so the water temperature can stay constant, no matter how long the water is left out. It’s the one thing his apartment is missing and desperately wants when he gets his own place. 

For the second time today, he’s scrubbing himself raw, making sure every inch is as clean as he can get, doing the best he can in his drunken state. Once he’s done and dry, he brushes his teeth for a good five minutes, and gets dressed. The clothes Sakusa left him are familiar but the soft blue fabric of the sweater reminds him that these are his clothes, the ones he lent Sakusa a few months ago when he was the drunk, sad one. He forgot about them. The clean scent of Sakusa’s fabric softener does nothing to calm down his racing heart, but he looks at himself one more time in the mirror before he heads back out to face Sakusa.

“Just apologize.” He whispers to himself and enters the bedroom.

The low sound of the television is on, showing a documentary on who gives a fuck while Sakusa is sitting up against the bed’s headboard in his pajamas. Suddenly, Atsumu feels tears pricking at his eyes, feeling so stupid for being here. He drunk called Sakusa. Ruined his sleep so selfishly, knowing tomorrow is a workday. He could have a surgery planned and here he is, probably ruining someone’s chances of living through brain surgery because their doctor didn’t get proper rest. 

He’s crying again and hiccups, “I’m so sorry, Sakusa. I’m sorry I made you mad when all ya wanted to do was gimme somethin’ nice. I’m sorry I’m a fuckin’ dick and called ya so late! Now yer probably gonna fuck up some major operation because of me and I’m sorry I-“ Atsumu is cut off, being pulled into a warm hug. 

The tears continue to spill, but he hugs back, staining Sakusa’s satin pajamas. They stay like that for a while until Sakusa pulls away when Atsumu’s tears finally stop. 

“I was mad at you. Not at your attitude. I know losing your final college game wasn’t what you had planned, but the fact you thought I would pity you is what angered me. I respect you more than that.”

Atsumu rubs his eyes clean, “I’m sorry, I know that. I really do. I just fuckin’ lost it and took it out on ya.” The next part hurts to say, but he feels the need to verbalize it. “If ya don’t want to see me anymore, I understand.”

Sakusa fake punches him. “Don’t be stupid. Come on, get in bed.” Guiding him to the bed, he pulls the duvet down enough and tucks him in. 

“Tomorrow’s New Year’s Eve. I have the day off, so don’t worry about me and sleep as much as you want.” 

Atsumu nods as Sakusa gets on the other side of the bed. Still slurring his words, he asks, “Aren’t ya going to sleep in yer room?”

“This is my room.” The sheer size of the room makes sense for it to be the master bedroom. But he didn’t expect him to sleep with him.. The sudden request for a bath makes sense now. 

But why does Sakusa want to be in the same bed as him? They’re not with his family. There’s no one here to raise suspicion that they’re not actually a couple. His drunken self then asks, “Then why are you sleeping with me then?”

“So you don’t die in the middle of the night.” Sakusa leans to turn off the bedside lamp. The room is pitch black, no moonlight spilling in as they lay there. So close, yet still far. The sheets are covered in Sakusa’s scent, which makes it even more intoxicating, if that’s even possible. 

Atsumu doesn’t really know what to say, but still tries. “Oh. Okay. Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it, Atsumu.” 

He can’t tell when either of them fell asleep, but it had to have been Atsumu first. What with the intense match he played, the excessive beer, and tears. The bed practically absorbs him as his eyes droop down and he finally passes out, letting his thoughts fade away. 

\---

There’s no Sakusa when he wakes up, but what does find is his phone plugged in on the bedside table alongside a bottle of water and some migraine pills. He downs the pills and the water, grabs his phone and squints, screen too bright in the dark bedroom, thanks to the blackout curtains. It’s 11AM. Fuck, it’s been a while since he’s slept in this late. It feels like he’s been hit with a hammer to his brain. There’s a text from Sakusa. 

**From: Sakusa**

**There’s breakfast in the fridge. I had to step out, but I will be back by 1PM.**

The bed envelopes him when he lays back down and processes what happened last night.

One: He drunk called Sakusa to pick him up from the club at 2AM and cried. He was so drunk that Sakusa felt the need to go out of his comfort zone and carry him upstairs. 

Two: He puked in Sakusa’s bleach smelling toilet. Loudly. For 10 minutes.

Three: He cried. Again. And Sakusa hugged him.

Four: He’s in Sakusa’s bed. His real bed, the one he spends most nights in. He could have shoved him in another room, but no, he’s here.

Five: Sakusa is a saint and made him breakfast. Meanwhile, Atsumu is a piece of rotting fruit that’s been left in the fridge too long.

He finally forces himself out of the bed, digging out his club clothes from the dirty laundry hamper Sakusa keeps in the bathroom. He goes downstairs, takes a water bottle and some bread. The dogs try to jump him, but he’s able to dodge them, heading outside to call an Uber. 

Atsumu decides that it’s better for Sakusa if he isn’t around, fucking up his life.

\---

Atsumu texts Sakusa that he still feels like shit and can’t go to his family’s New Year’s Eve party after all. Which is true, but he is sad he won’t be able to see Hanako. Instead of heading to his apartment to lay alone in the bed that _he_ gave him, Atsumu is at Suna’s place, laying down with Osamu in what used to be his room before he officially moved into Suna’s room.

Osamu didn’t even have to say anything when he showed up at the door. He pulled him in, gave him a comfy set of pajamas, and tucked him in. Just like when they were kids. Suna’s dog is next to him, sleeping. And Atsumu decides to sleep the rest of the day off, hangover still going strong while his body feels like a wet noodle. By the time he wakes up for the second time today, the sun has already gone down.

Rei can be heard in the hallway asking why “uncle cries a lot” is here and what he is upset about this time around. 

The kid is smart and timed her entrance when Osamu opened the door to ask if he was still alive. She rushes in, her Hello Kitty shark in hand, jumping next to Atsumu, startling the dog who jumps off the bed and hides.

“When I don’t feel good, I hug something soft! Here, you can use this!” She pushes it into his arms and he just stares at it. “Oh wait, you don’t like sharks, huh?”

He shakes his head, not wanting to reveal the real reason. 

She runs back out, flying past Osamu who almost drops the sports drink he brought for Atsumu. After what feels like a millisecond, she’s back with a fox plushie instead. “Look! A fox! Everyone likes foxes! You can hug this so you can stop being _un lloron_ and join us when we go to the shrine!”

A shrine? Suna has mentioned before that his mother is just as lavish, if not more so than Sakusa’s family. Surely she’d be throwing some end of the year extravaganza. Atsumu looks over at his brother, puzzled why they’re doing something so _normal_.

“Rei, why don’t you go into Rin’s closet and help him pick out an outfit, okay?”

She shoots them a thumbs up and closes the door on the way out.

When he’s sure the little girl is away from the room, Osamu begins to explain, “Rin and his mom aren’t on speakin’ terms since he’s started the adoption process. Suna is his mom’s last name and she doesn’t want Rei takin’ it because of their dad. She’s dumbly takin’ all her hate out on the kid like she’s the victim for bein’ married to him at one point. So no party.”

“Rei’s last name isn’t Suna? How did I not know that?”

“’Cause yer a dumbass. It’s Kano. Dad changed it back after the divorce and started money launderin’ since he wasn’t makin’ enough without his ex’s income to maintain his crazy ass lifestyle of renting yachts on international waters and shooting rocket launchers.”

“Rocket launchers? It’s amazing Rin is so composed and not doing crazy shit like that.”

“He lived in his school dorms and went abroad for college, so it’s kind of hard to turn into a complete douche. He’s still pretty douchey, but I guess it could be worse.” Osamu gets off the bed and heads into the walk-in closet to pull out a suit. “C’mon and get decent. Rei wants everyone to dress nice fer dinner.”

Leaving Atsumu alone, he stretches his body out and stumbles to the bathroom to “get decent.” Wow, he looks like shit, guilt sprawled across his face. But he can’t bring himself to check his phone and see that Sakusa hasn’t texted him back. What is Keiko saying right now about him? That they broke up because he wasn’t good enough? That he should find someone worthy of his societal status? Is Sakusa even defending him from his harshest critic?

Those thoughts continue to invade his mind at dinner. Osamu has laid out an entire buffet of food for him, made last minute arrangements so he could be with them. He can’t even appreciate how cute Rei looks in her red, gingham dress. It must be evident at this point he’s not exactly chipper to be there, zoning out when Suna asks if he could pass the soybeans.

With her mouth full of fried shrimp, Rei asks, “Is Omi-Omi coming?”

Suna reacts quickly, “Rei, don’t talk with your mouth full. Sakusa is not coming. He is with his family tonight.”

Atsumu is grateful that he didn’t have to answer, putting his attention to eating for the first time today. The broth warms his entire body, bringing a familiar feeling he hasn’t had in a while. Osamu must have gotten the recipe from their mom because it tastes like being with their family. Like being in their grandmother’s kitchen while the twins argue about who gets to eat the last piece of sweet egg or what they should watch before their mom kicks them out to go make mochi with the neighborhood kids. Back where people don’t care about social status and are more open, telling it like it is. He misses it. He wants to go back to Hyogo, or anywhere in Kansai really. Tokyo isn’t what he wants. He doesn’t understand the people here, he doesn’t understand Sakusa or his world.

It isn’t a place he wants to be in anymore. So, when he makes his prayers at the shrine, he wishes for a fresh start.

That same night, he drafts an email on his phone to send out after break to the coach, asking if he could schedule a meeting with the MSBY Black Jackals recruiter.

-

**Author's Note:**

> [click here to find me on the twitters](https://twitter.com/tommymangos/)


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